Episode 49 – appointment

I kept looking at the line screen and thinking.

[2 o’clock in the afternoon, in front of Ikebukuro station!]

I don’t have to tell you, the line came from Shizuku san.

“Fuu…..”

I know it sounds extravagant to say, but I honestly wasn’t in the mood for a date with Shizuku san.

This is because it reminds me of a previous date.

The feeling of being miserable just being next to someone.
I mistakenly think she likes Nagishiro Rin, and the gap between reality and reality beats me up.

I am afraid of feeling miserable like that.
So I can’t make the decision to go on a date with her.

“Ah, how could that possibly be right?”

Apparently, I haven’t been awake long enough to think straight.

I go to the sink to wash my face again and look at my face in the mirror.

Ugly face. Hair is bouncing all over the place and my beard is a little long.

I can’t believe I met Shizuku san with this face.
If it had been me not long ago, I would not have shown this kind of face in front of Shizuku san, of whom I am a big fan.
I’m sure I had the minimum in place.

“I’m not going to do it. I’m not the right man to walk next to Shizuku san.”

I can’t even take care of my appearance, and I’m feeling gloomy about the date.

I didn’t think such a man was qualified to date Shizuku san.

Let’s call on line to say no, I think, and I pick up my phone.

-Ah, by the way, I have to cancel this cell phone as soon as possible because Harushita san is paying for it. I wonder if that thing can be cancelled by myself.

Then, I opened Shizuku san’s chat screen again.
I think about how to word my refusal.

But before that, I received a new line from Shizuku san.

[Looking forward to seeing you tomorrow!]
“……”

I didn’t have words.
I was frankly pleased with the statement that she was looking forward to a date with me.

I’m a bit of a cheapskate. Even though my head is thinking that I’m being complimented, I’m still very nervous inside.
I take the statement to be serious.

“No, but if Shizuku san said something like this to me, anyone would.”

Any man would be pleased to be told by such a beautiful girl. It’s only natural.
I’m a guy too, and of course I like her more than most people. I’m a fan.
So it is not strange or particularly conscious to be flustered by her words.

-that is not what I should be thinking about right now.

If I say no, it means I’m going to screw it all up.
It ruins everything she had the courage to say and the fact that she cares about me like this.

Am I sure that ……?

I wonder if I, who have nothing to offer, can hurt a girl who cares about me, and I wonder irreverently about that.
I come up with such excuses.

“No, don’t do that. Don’t make Shizuku san sad.”

Like that, I’m still a jerk.

I could have just told her frankly that I wanted to go, or excused myself that way, but I was looking for reasons from other people to justify my actions.
I am trying to hide my important feelings for the sake of my own trivial shame, and yet I am trying to participate in the once-in-a-lifetime event that is dating.

Let’s be honest and expose myself to Shizuku san as I am.

Just as she had the courage to do.

At one o’clock in the afternoon, that is, an hour earlier than I was supposed to meet my date, I was at the meeting place.

(Oh no, I’m not wearing anything weird, am I? I’m not lame, am I?)

In case you were wondering, I had borrowed clothes from my former handsome friend, Sawamura, for the occasion.

It was nice to admire the handsome man and his stylish clothes, but here I was feeling uneasy because I felt that perhaps I was not worthy of them.

In addition to other things, I cut off a bit of my hair that had grown out and had Sawamura set it up for me.
I intentionally had my hair bounced a little to give it a rougher look, but I have a feeling that this does not suit my dark-rooted self.

Well, what I mean is that I am in pain for one more hour until Shizuku san judges me.
Then don’t come early, idiot.

If it’s bad, please tell me it’s bad. Oh, but I’ve put a lot of energy into it, so I’m embarrassed. Please don’t tell me.

While waiting, I simulate the worst case scenario.

＊

“Aaa~ Nagishiro kun!”
“Ah, Shizuku san.”

She gets out of the car and finds me.
Then, as soon as she confirmed my presence, Shizuku san came running toward me, waving her hand.

Eh-hohoho.

“Sorry to keep you waiting, Nagishiro kun.”
“No, not at all.”

Shizuku san is out of breath with her hands on her knees. She seems to have come in a hurry.

“Fuuu, Sorry, hey….?”

And the moment she looks up and sees me, she freezes.

“I, um, I tried to give it a makeover.”
“Ah, oh!”

Shizuku san is clearly flustered. Her face is drawn.

“How…..is it?”
“Aaah yeah….? It looks good on you, it looks good on you, you know…….?”

＊

Toughhhhhhhhhhh!! Flattery! The toughest!　

I wish you’d tell me it doesn’t look good on me anyway!

And if we continue in that pattern, it’s the one where we stay uncomfortable with each other while we continue to be distanced from each other. I die, I can die.

I was in a cold sweat at my robust imagination, but still the clock was not advancing at all.

Perhaps because I am wearing clothes that are quite eccentric from my normal self, I feel that the eyes of the people around me are looking at me.

— I mean, I feel like they are gathering.

“Hey, ……, wait, who’s that?”
“I-I don’t know, but ……”
“Wow…..!”

Oh, that’s harsh. This is definitely the kind of thing that is laughed at.

It is heartbreaking to see a group of high school girls around me looking at me and gossiping.

If you guys don’t walk with a guy on Christmas Eve, you’re just as much of a loser as I am!!, my mind is poisoned.

I waited for an hour, enduring such stares.

A black car pulls up to the roundabout, and a glistening woman from inside

“Haaaa, haaa, you wait?”

Dashing from there, Shizuku san is the one gasping for breath with her hands on her knees in front of her.

Maybe it’s because it matches the scenery I just simulated, or maybe it’s because I’m getting chills down my back and my heart is racing.

“Fuuu, sorry, hey…..?”

She looked up and rolled her eyes at me.

(TL/N : Yeah, ＊ is the simulated scenario)