Episode 58 – kneeling down on the ground

“Well ……, I’ve done it. ……”

After I finished the stream, I felt refreshed and a little regretful at the same time.

Because I declared in front of more than 50,000 people watching that I would be performing the song in a month’s time.

It was fine until I said it.

“It’s one thing to be able to write a song, it’s another thing to be able to perform it ……”

It does not mean that I will be able to write because I said so, but I am merely at the starting line now.
Any skills or senses that have been lost during the past month must be regained within a month.

If I can’t do it, this time….

“There’s no end in sight, right?”

I finally showed up. Now there is nowhere to run.

It is safe to say that by showing my face, I am sure that people at the university will find out about me.
When I couldn’t do it, there was a storm of bashing from all over the place.

“Oh, by the way…”

Then I remembered one thing.
Come to think of it, there must have been one thing I was determined to do when I showed up.

It’s something so important to me that it’s a once-in-a-lifetime decision, and so trivial that the world would probably say, “Oh, it’s too late for that now?”

“Then I’ll have to go over there tomorrow …….”

I’m a little, or rather a lot, nervous when I think about where I’m going.
I am embarrassed and have no face to match.

But …… probably an unavoidable path.
I mean, if I avoid it, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to write a song anytime soon.

“Okay”

For now, let’s wait until tomorrow, or maybe a little later, before I write a song.
Today, all I want to do is sleep.

In a room filled with cold air, I wrapped myself in the futon and fell asleep, simulating tomorrow.

It was a quiet Christmas Eve, like the best sleep I’ve had in recent memory.

Ding-dong.

The time was 6:00 in the morning.
There is no doubt that it is annoying.

Still, since I am dealing with such a person, I need to aim for a time of day when the weekly reporters and paparazzi will never be around.

“Hmmm…not coming out.”

Checking the room number I had written down on my phone, I enter the same room number again and ring the intercom.

I’m hoping she’ll come out soon.
I don’t want to be this shabbily dressed, ping-ponging prowler in a tower apartment building where such rich people seem to live.

“…… yes. Who is it ……?”

The other party sounded sleepy and angry.

It could be irritation at being woken up so early in the morning, or it could be that the brain has not yet awakened in the first place.

–well, it doesn’t matter.

“Kotoha, it’s me. Open up.”
“…..”

When I called out to her, the other person fell silent.
Long, long silence.

It must have been about 3 minutes before she broke it. That’s really a stretch.

“R-Rin kun !?!??”

“I told you so. Sorry it’s so early in the morning, but it’s cold and I’d appreciate it if you’d open the door.”

I don’t exactly give a name, but she can probably tell by the voice and the camera or whatever she’s looking at from that side.

Also, it was refreshing to see Kotoha really surprised like this.
Even if I don’t actually see her, I can tell what kind of situation she’s in by the volume and pitch of her voice.

“W-Wait a minute!? I’m still in my pajamas, I’m not wearing any clothes, I haven’t brushed my teeth, and I just woke up! I mean, how did you find me here?”
“I think you’re awake, though.”
“You’re not going to answer my question huh! Just give me five minutes!!!”
“Yeah”

I hear a slamming sound, as if someone forgot to turn off the intercom, but I don’t pay attention and wait slowly.

The reaction to getting up early has come here, and I am sleepy.
I guess it was indeed a bad idea to come on the first train.

— No, but it’s a little …… or rather quite awkward to think that I’m going to face Kotoha after this.

I had asked her to let me disassociate myself from various work-related matters, and yet here I am.
If a samurai saw me, he would kill me, but I’m not a samurai, so forgive me

As I was once again reviewing the arrangements I had thought up in my mind, the door to the apartment entrance opened.
Apparently, she is ready to go

“Fiuuuu….”

Where was my composure earlier, I became even more nervous when I entered the apartment..
Perhaps it was the entrance to this cramped, even sprawling condominium.

But when I got here, I couldn’t back out.

I have to go.

“….Okay”

I pulled myself together and pressed the elevator button.

＊

“What do I do, what do I do?”

I managed to brush my teeth and get dressed, but there wasn’t enough time to do more than that, so I’m left with a clean slate.

Then I think I should put on my makeup at this time, but I am too nervous to even get that done.

I wonder, how could Rin kun come at such a time?
What reason?

Perhaps I have done something wrong again?

Is it too irresponsible to say …… by unknowingly hurting Rin kun again?

Anyway, there is not a single errand I can think of.
Did he come here to get angry, to apologize, or to say something?

I was so scared.
I had a feeling that something definitive would be said again.

“Let’s just be prepared. ……”

No matter what he says, I have to be prepared to not break down and cry on the spot.
As expected, I would like to be seen crying by a boy four years younger than me named Rin kun, but only in a drama.

Ding dong

Here is him !!

The intercom in front of the house rings, which means Rin kun is almost there.

Phew, take two big deep breaths.

Remove the chain, unlock the key, and slowly open the door.

“Rin kun”
“Y-yeah, Kotoha. Long time no see”

This awkward distance.
I wonder if this is the kind of reaction I have when I meet an ex-boyfriend or something. I’ve never had a boyfriend.

“A-And anyway, can I come in?”

Indeed, it is cold here.

“G-Go ahead…..”
“Then, if you’ll excuse me…….”

I wanted to leave already.
No, I’m at home.

I lead Rin kun into the living room.

Rin kun walks around looking at the walls, the floor, and the ceiling.
…… Please don’t stare too much, it’s embarrassing.

I’m walking in front of Rin kun so that he can’t see my face without makeup as much as possible.

“Can you hold on a sec, ……? I’ll make something hot”
“Yeah, that’s a big help. ……”

I lead him to a desk with a chair and then fetch him a drink to escape.
Temporary withdrawal.

In front of the kitchen, I breathe a sigh of relief.

Apparently, he’s not angry.
A bit of relief.

“Yes, here you go~………huh!?”

I almost dropped what I was holding in my hand when I spotted Rin kun as I came back toward the living room with two mugs.

Because Rin kun – he was on his knees.

“Kotoha! I have a favor to ask you!!”

I really don’t know what’s going on today anymore.