The Girls Who Traumatized Me Keep Glancing at Me, but Alas, It’s Too Late (WN) - Chapter 40

Posted on June 25, 2021by Soafp

It is often said that twins have sympathy, but what about parents and children? For example, if they are brother and sister, can romantic feelings arise there? Or, even if that is the case, does our biological instinct deny it?

　Now, this old man is sitting in front of me at the coffee shop. He is a suspicious man named Shiun Mikumo, who claims to be my father, but I’ve never met him before. Even if he has met me before, it was a long time ago, before I can remember, and this suspicious man does not exist in my memory. In short, he was a stranger, and even if there was a blood relationship, I have no feelings for him, no attachment to him, and I couldn’t feel any sympathy for him as a father or a relative. Mmmm!

“That’s why—-. I’m finally in a position to take charge of my company. That’s why I’m here to see you. And I have a child about your age. Why don’t you think about it?” (Shiun)

　The old man seemed to want to take me in. My mom has custody of my sister and me. I’m just grateful that we’ve been able to live our lives without any inconvenience. I’m not elementary school student anymore, I’m a high school student now. It was a completely new story, but I was stunned as I heard the situation from the old man.

“Ofcourse it’s not okay you a*****e” (Yuki)

“Hmm?　I think I just heard a huge rant about something.……” (Shiun)

“It’s probably just your imagination. They say it gets harder and harder to hear as you get older.”

“No, I’m not that old yet.……” (Shiun)

“You’re mistaken. So, what you’re trying to say is this. You got remarried, but things aren’t going well with your stepdaughter, so you want to take advantage of me.” (Yuki)

　The old man’s face visibly twitched.

“Don’t you think that’s taking it too explicitly?” (Shiun)

“I’m just trying to be as objective as possible.” (Yuki)

　Here’s what the old man had to say. Apparently, the old man had remarried a long time ago. The other woman was also divorced and had a child. According to the story, she’s a high school student, but although they don’t fight, their relationship is strained because of her difficult age. In addition, this old man was married into the Mikumo family as a son-in-law, so he was a bit of a burden. It’s none of my business.

That’s when he came up with the idea of me. He wants to keep the balance in the family by bringing me in. That’s my interpretation of the old man’s story. No matter how many beautiful things you put up, in the end it is still a interpretation.

“I really do want to live with my son. I never want to take advantage of you.” (Shiun)

“If that’s the case, why did you come to me now?　You had all the time in the world.” (Yuki)

“That’s because I didn’t have the power. But I’m a manager now. I have a son—-” (Shiun)

“I don’t understand why it’s just me. What about my sister?” (Yuki)

“I don’t think that Ouka would approve of that. But she thinks you’re the one who ……” (Shiun)

“–I don’t think it’s necessary” (Yuki)

　The old man looked as if he was biting down on a bitter bug. I see. He even came to talk to me about this. He seems to be doing some research. I wondered if he thought that I, being neglected by my mother, would agree with him. As a matter of fact, he might be right about that. This is a matter for the old man and my mother to decide in person. If she doesn’t need me, I might be willing to listen to him, but then it would be much better for me to start living alone.

“You’re having trouble breathing too, aren’t you?　If you’re in trouble, I want to help” (Shiun)

“I’m sure my mom can’t handle me, but ……” (Yuki)

“Well, then!” (Shiun)

“Ma~e ma~e. There’s something I wanted to ask you.” (Yuki)

“What is it?” (Shiun)

“Why did you divorce my mother?” (Yuki)

　　I asked the question, and I know the answer. I heard about it not from my mother, but from Sekka-san. As a child, I was so busy with myself that I never really paid attention to my father, but as part of a casual chat, Sekka told me about him.

　I dared to ask a question that I knew the answer to, because I thought it was something I needed to hear from him right now.

“Didn’t Ouka tell you?　I’m ashamed to say it, but it’s an affair. For some time now I’ve had an inferiority complex with your mother. Every time she achieved something at work, I felt like I was being shown up. Maybe I was just paranoid that I was not good enough for her. That’s when I met Mikumo-san.” (Shiun)

“How come you only found out about it after you were married? I thought once you were married, you formed a relationship. Why can you so easily violate it?” (Yuki)

“I guess the only way to explain it is that I the devil came inside me” (Shiun)

“I see.” (Yuki)

It doesn’t match. The reason for this was the very feeling I was having right now. Apparently, I’m popular. But I don’t fit in with anyone. I can’t have feelings of “love” and I’ll never be able to match with anyone.

But I still don’t understand. Then why did you get married? Cheating is the worst kind of betrayal. It hurts someone irreparably. Not just the heart. When you are married, it is a clear breach of contract, not just an ambiguous love affair. And it carries a label in the form of divorce.

　Once you’ve made a choice, once you’ve loved, once you’ve made a decision, how can you so easily betray it?　Why is it so easy to trample on the other person?　How can love be so pale, so fragile, so frivolous?

“You’re not going to say anything?　No surprise, I’m condemned. I guess that’s why my daughter hates me.” (Shiun)

“─ Because I’m not qualified to say anything.” (Yuki)

“You are entitled to say something, aren’t you?” (Shiun)

The old man misunderstood something, but I wasn’t going to blame him for his affair. It’s my mother’s business, not mine. And it’s already been settled in the form of a divorce.

　The reason I don’t deserve it is because I don’t know what “love” is. I don’t even know what “love” means. I don’t even know what the goal of marriage is, much less how to get there. I don’t understand “love” or ” affection”. The goal of marriage is far beyond my comprehension.

If love and romance are supposed to make someone happy, then I can’t make anyone happy if I don’t understand them. Instead of giving happiness, I am only giving misfortune. In such a situation, it is impossible for me to become a lover with someone. If that happens, I will end up betraying and hurting someone like the old man. I don’t want to do that. I’ve been hurt so many times, I don’t want to hurt anyone else.

　After the misunderstanding was cleared up, she and I became childhood friends again, and Kamishiro and I became club activity buddies again, and that was enough for me. I’m not sure why my mother and sister have been so kind to me lately. That was enough for me aswell. In a world where I thought I couldn’t even hope for that, it would be greedy to hope for more. I don’t feel like I’m being denied by anyone anymore, like I used to. Someone is supporting me, telling me that it is okay to live in this world. I’m going from negative to 0 again, and that alone is a huge step forward.

　I guess it’s time for me to make things clear. The old man in front of me is my role model. In order not to become like this, if the girls like me, I have to give an answer to them.

　I can’ t keep running away saying that I don’t know what I like. That would be very cruel, cowardly and irresponsible. It’s just my personal situation. I can’t allow the girls to waste their glorious youth on such a thing. There’s no way I’m qualified to crush the feelings of someone who cares seriously about these girls.

　Somehow, just the fact that I’ve been able to think about others like this is progress. For now, our relationship is still nothing. At least, no matter how painful it would be, it would be far better than betraying her after we became lovers, got married, or changed our relationship.

By the way, why did you think that taking me in would work with your stepdaughter in the first place?　Wouldn’t that just make her hate you even more than she normally would?

　I interrupted my thoughts and the old man asked a fundamental question.

“Don’t you recognize her by my last name?　That girl goes to the same high school as you. Her name is Yumi Mikumo. That’s her name.” (Shiun)

“I didn’t want to hear it.” (Yuki)

Eh? Is this guy really Mikumo-senpai’s father?　I’m sure he’s the father on paper, even if he’s not related by blood since she’s his stepdaughter. That Mikumo-senpai who is always struggling, but because of this old man, she was also struggling at home…….

“I’m the only one with common sense who can keep my senior lasciviousness in check. ……” (Yuki)“Lascivious……? (Shiun)

“I’m talking about this. So you want to use me. You’re a piece of garbage.” (Yuki)

“You’re getting a little rude.” (Shiun)

　It was time to go. I stood up as if I was done.

“I can’t make any more decisions on my own. I think you’ll have to talk to my mother.” (Yuki)

“Yes, but …… she’ll never forgive me.” (Shiun)

“Of course she won’t, you idiot.” (Yuki)

“Where did you get your bad mouth from?” (Shiun)

“My mother.” (Yuki)

“I’m getting scared to meet her.……” (Shiun)

　I left the coffee shop. The sun was about to set. As the sparse crowd passed by, I saw a familiar face heading my way.

“—–What are you talking about with that man, Yukito?” (Mother)

　But this person was unlike anything I had ever seen before, her eyes were so deep and dark that I thought she was someone else. My mother’s face was tinged with rage as she appeared.