The Girls Who Traumatized Me Keep Glancing at Me, but Alas, It’s Too Late (WN) - Chapter 51

Posted on July 18, 2021by Soafp

TL: This kinda a side story. Weird chapter.

[Anya Shakado PoV]

I, Anya Shakado, am a gloomy person.

　I’ve been gloomy for 16 years now. It’s already an old shade, a lineage that didn’t exist when it didn’t.…… hihihi. (TL: I have no idea what she is talking about, just a weird monologue like Yukito)

“Hihi, I brought you some food. Here you go little girl. Eat up.……” (Shakado)

　Feeding my chameleon Chi-chan in her cage. Her long tongue stretches out as she snaps. I smiled…… at the scene. No, it’s not that cute. I was watching with a grin on my face. Hihihi…….

　Today Chi-chan’s skin has a nice glow. Wow, you’re so different from me.……. I’ve been working hard on my skin care lately, too. I’ve been trying to talk to her, but she’s just going along with her normal routine. You are a tsundere.……

　I, Anya Shakado, am a reptilian girl.

I’ve always loved reptiles. I try to share their cuteness with others, but they never agree with me at all. It was sad, but it didn’t take long for me to realize that this was an unusual preference for a girl.

　Maybe that’s why I didn’t have many friends in elementary and junior high school, let alone in kindergarten when I don’t remember much. I was the girl who sat alone in a corner of the classroom, unable to join the girlish conversations of my classmates and uninvolved in any romantic affairs. Well, that’s just the negative side…….

　No classmate would ever want to get close to me, with my shaggy hair, hunched back, and lopsided smile. The day I was told to form a pair or a group of people I liked, was the day I was done. It was always the teacher who was in trouble and forced me to join another group.

　Fortunately, I was never bullied. Rather, no one would approach me because they felt uncomfortable. If I hadn’t told them, they wouldn’t have known that I liked reptiles, but the aura that I gave off kept my classmates away. Before I knew it, my presence was assimilated into the air, and I was treated as if I had never existed. Wow, maybe I’m turning into a colorless and transparent person.

　I remember when I was in elementary school and I told a girl who was my classmate and I talked to a lot, that I liked reptiles. She said, “You’re weird”. It wasn’t until she stopped talking to me that I realized that it was a kind word wrapped in an ode. Even though I am not familiar with her, I can tell when she is being blunt. You’re weird. I feel uncomfortable about it. I cried when I realized that such feelings were lurking in her heart.

　I, Anya Shakado, am different.

　It was natural for me to think so.

　Gradually, I stopped talking to my classmates, and my rejection was naturally conveyed to them. My isolation was getting worse and worse, and I was kept alone in the cage of the classroom as the colorless and transparent Anya Shakado, always vaguely invisible to everyone.

　Mom and Dad are worried that I, their only daughter, don’t have any friends, but that doesn’t mean they can’t do anything about it. There’s nothing I can do about it. I don’t even know how to make friends.…… It’s hard to talk to them. It’s too difficult for a shady person. Strangely enough, it is more difficult to communicate with people than with Chi-chan. The world is so unreasonable.

“Aren’t you lonely, Chi-chan……?” (Shakado) 

　How does Chi-chan feel when she’s alone? I don’t know even if I think about it. It’s not possible to get an answer to such a question, but it’s still part of my routine to talk like this. I don’t want to go to school. I just want to play with my pets. For me, school is just something I do because I have to. I don’t want to worry my family any more than I already have.…… Hihi.

　I’m sure my days will continue like this in high school. As if nothing had changed from elementary school to junior high school, I was treated as if I were invisible, as if I didn’t exist. Boring, colorless life. That’s what I thought.

　–Until I entered high school.

　But then I met someone.

　God. There was a God in this world…….

　I used to think I was different. But maybe I was mistaken. The words I was told in elementary school were not true. The perceptions I had in my mind were shattered. I was a frog in a well, and there was a vast ocean in front of me.

　The kind of person who doesn’t care about anything.

　To him, I was ordinary. Overwhelmingly normal. I am embarrassed and horrified by my mistake. In front of him, who is so impossibly dazzling and so intense, no one would think that I am different. They don’t think about me. They don’t even care.

　Y-yeah. Yes, He has gloomy charisma. It’s a gloomisma…… (TL: Combination of gloomy and charisma)

　Thanks to him, I am now totally just a classmate.

　He made me go from special to normal.

　An ordinary Anya Shakado, nothing special.

　It brought about a big change in me, to the point where I could enjoy school, which had been such a chore in elementary and junior high school.

　This summer vacation, I felt so sad that I couldn’t go to school.

　Now, for the first time, I am able to enjoy school life without being isolated.

　However, perhaps because I have been so used to living in the shadows, I am at a loss as to how to communicate with others. Clearly, I didn’t have enough experience.

　Still, no one would reject me. My classmates accepted my love for reptiles as a part of my personality. Which is surprising. There is a much stronger personality than mine right in front of me. My personality is insignificant.

　I was remembering the day my love for reptiles was exposed. Shortly after I entered the school, I was looking at my collection of Chi-chan in the classroom when he suddenly passed by and saw that Chi-chan was a panther chameleon at a glance. He had been considering getting one as a pet. Unexpectedly, he was very knowledgeable about it and I got carried away and talked about it, but he took it in without paying me any mind.

　And then it happened. I don’t know what changed my mind, but I began to feel embarrassed that my hair was still shaggy, and I began to pay a little more attention to my appearance than before. But it didn’t go so well, probably because I had been so careless. When I went to ask my mom what I should do, she was very pleased. Hihi……I’m sorry to trouble you.

　At some point, I noticed that more and more people naturally started to talk to me. Maybe I was the one who was rejecting them, keeping them away. In other words, the negative aura is like a barrier. I have learned that if I can make even the slightest effort to approach people, there are people who will respond to me.

　For the first time, the transparent me, who was supposed to be invisible to everyone, got some color.

　My phone beeped with a notification.

“Who is it……? Eli-chan…?” (Shakado) 

　I looked at the screen and saw that I had received a text message from Eli-chan.

　An invitation to play. Eli-chan is Kana Sakurai.

　The opposite of me, a negative caste, is a positive caste girl. She is at the top of a caste that I normally would not have gotten along with her. God calls her Elizabeth, so I call her “Eli” out of respect, but I’m the one who can’t call her that in front of him. He is still a god, as he proudly calls her Elizabeth. (ED: To her Yuki = a god)

　When I received a text message from Eli-chan, my whole body began to tremble.

“P-p-pool!? Is that what a pool is, Chi-chan?　Is it the kind where you swim in a bathing suit?” (Shakado) 

　Not only was I invited to play, but the destination was a swimming pool.

It’s a bit too much for the negative person. Whaaaaaaaaaaaat am I going to do?! I can’t stay like this. I slammed out of the room and headed for the living room.

“Mama…. Whaaaaa, what should I do! I’m invited by a friend to go to the pool, but I wondered if it was okay to wear a school swimsuit.” (Shakado) 

　My mom’s eyes widened and tears began to fall from her eyes.

“I’m so glad you finally have a friend An-chan, …….I’m so happy for you! But An-chan, I don’t think a school swimsuit is okay. Let’s go shopping for a cute one together.” (Mother)

“Hihi…..Is that so. I’m glad I asked. Thank you very much” (Shakado) 

　My mom is in a very good mood. She always looks happy these days.

　The loneliness I had felt one day was nowhere to be found.

　I hope we don’t have to change classes until we graduate.

　In the past, I wouldn’t have thought of such a thing.

　He causes a commotion every day, and creates a commotion in my boring daily life as well. Every day changes at a dizzying pace. But it is inexplicably fun and comfortable.　My name is Anya Shakado.

　I’m a gloomy but normal girl and a devoted follower of God.

　That’s right, the man who is unknowingly worshipped by his classmates, is Yukito Kokonoe.