The Greatest Secret Agent of All Time - Chapter 37

Chapter 37: Yun AoTian Takes a New Official Post!

Translator: Nyoi-Bo Studio

Editor: Nyoi-Bo Studio

This was also Yun AoTian’s first time seeing twenty-six mental patients sitting together.

What? You’re asking where Patients One, Two, and Three went?

How would I know? I have not seen any of them yet. (Not only has Yun Zhonghe not seen them, the author, Cake, has not either)*

In his dream, Yun Zhonghe went to a chair and sat down. Then, he leaned back tactically and slowly said, “What’s going on? You all disappeared for almost a month, have you grown wings and decided you’re too good? And no longer need to respond to me whenever I, the director of this hospital, summon you?”

“Director, I need to make this clear to you. We are not bathrooms, where you can go to whichever stall you choose, get it?” one of the patients said.

Yun Zhonghe said, “You all better get the facts straight. It is you possessing my body, and not me, possessing yours.”

“Director, we feel that you are disrespecting us. You should try to recall what you did earlier, summoning us to possess you as and when you please, and for just any trivial matter at that. Maybe you don’t know this, but every time you summon us to possess you, there is a price to pay.”

Yun Zhonghe was startled and asked, “Is that so? There is even a price to pay for summoning you psychopaths to possess me? What price?”

The mental patients did not reply to this question. Instead, they said, “Director, after discussing this and consulting with one another, we’ve decided on one thing.”

“What? You all have decided on one thing? This is really a joke. I am the director, which makes me the one with the final say,” Yun Zhonghe said.

“Director, previously, when we were still alive, living under your control was fine. But now that we are dead do we still have to be under your control? If you continue to be so autocratic, then we assure you that in the future, we are never going to show up again. We are never going to possess you again.”

Yun Zhonghe was quick to concede defeat as he said, “Come on, don’t be like that. I was just saying this very casually, that’s all. How could I bear to see you all getting upset?”

“This decision that we’ve come to is, from now on, you can only summon one of us to possess your body at any one time per month. Which means to say, you can only possess one unique ability at any one time per month. Within this month, you can summon this psychopath to possess you anytime and anyplace, but you cannot summon anyone else.”

Yun Zhonghe said, “Then can I specify a certain person?”

“No, you cannot. This is completely a random selection, five, four, three…”

Yun Zhonghe was now extremely sensitive to the countdown and was instantaneously horrified upon hearing it. With a trembling voice, he said, “What do you mean? Are we going to go through another explosion?”

“Three, two, one. The countdown has ended.”

“First month, mental patient on the director’s indicator, random selection begins!”

A streak of light appeared amidst the darkness and randomly shone on the faces of the mental patients.

Then it began to change randomly.

The so-called random draw was happening now?

Yun Zhonghe suddenly began to feel nervous. Because the mental patient chosen would be the only one who could possess him for the whole of the following month.

Please never, ever draw some garbage talent.

Also, there was a mental patient who claimed that he could steal other people’s dreams, and that he could even change and manipulate them. Do you think you are staging a show by stealing dreams?

Also, there was another mental patient who could understand the language of rats. That’s right, rats. Not cats, not dogs, but rats.

There was another example where some mental patient said he could transform into a woman. Who the hell would want such an ability?

“Whoosh-whoosh-whoosh-whoosh-whoosh…”

The shadow of the light went on changing; the draw was still in progress. It was completely random, without any regular pattern at all.

Please select a mental patient with an exceptional talent!

Patient Nine, Quantum. Patient Nine, Quantum.

Or, if not, Patient Twenty-three, Da Vinci, would do as well.

Suddenly, the pillar of light stopped moving and was fixed on an individual.

The result of the random draw was out.

“Director, for the rest of the month, I will be the one serving your needs,” the chosen psychotic patient said while laughing sheepishly.

Yun Zhonghe was shocked. In a trembling voice, he said, “Hey, Auntie, who are you?”

“Director, I am Patient Twenty-seven,” the patient replied.

Twenty-seven?

What was she? What kind of unique ability did she have?

In truth, no one could blame Yun Zhonghe for being snobbish. When he was managing X Psychiatric Hospital, his attention was focused on the psychotic patients who had awe-inspiring talents. He would automatically forget about those who did not seem to be remarkable. And when he made his rounds, naturally, he would also neglect them.

“What abilities do you have?” What’s your nickname?” Yun Zhonghe asked.

Patient Twenty-seven said, “My nickname is Ghost Bride.”

Yun Zhonghe was able to remember now.

Patient Twenty-seven was the psychopath who claimed that she was psychic.

Frankly speaking, Patient Twenty-seven was also considered to be very special. For someone to claim that she was psychic, to be able to see ghosts and even communicate with them, was that not impressive enough?

But…

Ghosts did not exist, be it the modern Earth, or this world. There were simply no ghosts at all.

In that case, so what if she was a psychic?

She said she could converse with the dead, but… If the person was already dead, who could prove that what she said was true?

This was why this Patient Twenty-seven never had the chance to prove her ability.

“Director, to be honest with you, you’re very handsome, and I’ve been carrying a torch for you for a long time,” said Patient Twenty-seven, Ghost Bride, who was salivating at the sight of him. She revealed her eerie face, and while clicking her tongue, she said, “In the following month to come, I will treat you well.”

Yun Zhonghe felt his hair standing on end.

He just remembered why he had ignored Patient Twenty-seven every time he made his rounds.

Not only did she seem so creepy that it was almost like she was a Demon-Hag, but there was also one other thing. Every time she saw Yun Zhonghe, she simply could not keep her hands to herself and would get very touchy-feely with him.

Yun Zhonghe shouted wildly, “No, no…”

Then, he woke up with a start.

After waking up, Yun Zhonghe shook his head.

It had just been a dream. It was not real, absolutely not real.

Then, Yun Zhonghe began to try summoning her by saying, “Patient Twenty-seven? Patient Twenty-seven…”

The scene that appeared next was horrifying.

“Director, your slave has arrived!”

“Wow, Director. Your body is so slender; you’re so skinny.”

The words came to him all at once.

Yun Zhonghe’s hair stood on end as he cried out to the heavens, yelling, “Oh great heavens, oh great Earth, why are you doing this to me?”

***

The next day, he woke up!

Yun Zhonghe was still shuddering in fear.

My… Oh my god!

This Ghost Bride was simply too terrifying. But her face could not be seen clearly. It was as though she was merely someone in a dream. She did not seem to be a soul, but instead, seemed like a character dreamt up by someone with schizophrenia.

Did it mean that he was going to spend the whole following month with the psychopathic Patient Twenty-seven?

No. I don’t want this.

Can I change this?

Take a deep breath.

Breathe in and fart!

He had to calm himself down within the shortest possible timeframe.

Because there would be a battle today.

It was the first battle between him and Jing Zhongyue.

He could not lose!

The moment he lost this battle, it would mean that he had failed his mission in the City of Torn Gust, and would be declared a failure straightaway.

What official position would Jing Zhongyue give him?

What kind of a problem would he be given?

He had no idea!

But what was certain was that the other party would absolutely not let him assume this official position without a hitch.

They would definitely find a way to get him dismissed from office and drive him out of the City of Torn Gust.

In the face of a fierce battle ahead, will that golden finger of mine really work? Is that Ghost Bride, who is so eager to possess me all the time, really going to be useful to me?

And at that moment, the door of Yun Zhonghe’s courtyard was suddenly pushed open. Then, a group of warriors came in.

“Mr. Yun AoTian, come with us. We will take you to the Bureau to take up your new official post,” said the leader of the warriors.

Yun Zhonghe said, “But, I haven’t eaten yet.”

The leader of the warriors paid no heed to what Yun Zhonghe said. With a wave of his hand, two warriors came forward, lifted Yun Zhonghe, and carried him out.

After they were out of the courtyard, Yun Zhonghe saw Jing Wubian.

“AoTian, I’ve come to send you off,” Jing Wubian said. “And on top of that, your brother has prepared for you, five hundred sycees, some medication for wounds caused by metallic weapons, ointments for broken bones, and other things like that.”

Can’t you wish me well, even if it’s just a little?

You are simply so sure that I am going to lose today, that I am going to be dismissed from my position, have both my legs broken, and then be driven out of the City of Torn Gust?

“This rod, what is it used for?” Yun Zhonghe asked.

Jing Wubian said, “When you are beaten, put this in your mouth and bite down.”

Yun Zhonghe said, “In doing so, I won’t feel any pain?”

Jing Wubian said, “No, it will still be very painful. But at least it won’t make you bawl your eyes out. You’re my brother, and I can’t afford to lose a person like you.”

Heck!

Then, Jing Wubian went on to say, “AoTian, you were the one who chose this path. And… I also hope that you will lose. If you lose today, you can still live. If you lose tomorrow, then you will die, for sure.”

As he was saying this, Jing Wubian appeared to be deadly serious.

Yun Zhonghe was silent for a moment, then he said, “Brother, if anyone says you’re a fool again, I will hack him to death.”

Then, Yun Zhonghe went on to say, “But this path is the choice I made. And today, I’m going to win. You should prepare to knock Lady Cold Jade unconscious. That little mouth of hers is mine to kiss, that’s for sure.”

Then, Yun Zhonghe was carried out of the residence of the castellan by two warriors, who headed toward an unknown place.

***

On the bustling streets of the City of Torn Gust.

“My brothers, I’m apparently going to take up an official post, so why am I being escorted away like this? It’s as if I’m a prisoner,” Yun Zhonghe asked. “Look at the way people are looking at me, they all think I’m some death row convict.”

The warriors did not say a word.

Yun Zhonghe said, “My brothers, where are we going?”

The warriors still did not answer him.

“What official position am I going to hold?” Yun Zhonghe asked.

The warriors acted as though they were dumb and completely ignored him.

Almost a quarter of an hour later, the leader of the warriors said, “We have arrived!”

Yun Zhonghe looked up and found that they were in front of a magnificent looking large and solemn building.

The steps looked so high and mighty. The doors looked cold, and on a gigantic plaque, three large words were written: Torn Gust Bureau.

Outside the main gate, there was also a huge drum.

It was really imposing and extremely solemn.

Those seeing it for the first time would surely have doubts.

Could it be that this was also the residence of the castellan? Apparently, the residence of the castellan was that massive castle complex on the top of the mountain, was it not?

Then what was this place in front of them?

This was the Bureau of the City of Torn Gust.

The Valley of Torn Gust, under the jurisdiction of one main city and nineteen territories.

Jing Zhongyue was the master of the entire Valley of Torn Gust; she was a major governor.

And the City of Torn Gust also had its own chief official, which was called Torn Gust Decree!

And the Torn Gust Bureau right before them was the organization that held the highest authority managing the City of Torn Gust.

In terms of the level of power, the Torn Gust Bureau’s authority exceeded that of Black Blood Hall. It was second only to the residence of the castellan. It was this bureau that managed the entire city’s population of more than a hundred thousand people.

Yun Zhonghe had thought about it many times. Exactly what kind of official post would Jing Zhongyue give him?

The Protector of the Horses? Chief astronomer? Or any other idle positions that were merely nominal?

He had even wondered if Jing Zhongyue would create an official position specifically for him, for instance, the Management Committee of Brothels?

He had not expected that the place where he was going to work would actually be such an excellent place as the Torn Gust Bureau.

“Go in!” the leader of the warriors said. Then, still as if he was escorting a prisoner, he walked Yun Zhonghe into the imposing and magnificent bureau.

“My brothers, exactly what kind of official position is Castellan Jing Zhongyue giving me?” Yun Zhonghe asked with incomparable curiosity and excitement.

By the looks of it, this rank truly was not small. It also seemed to be very powerful, as well.

The few warriors still paid him no heed. They brought Yun Zhonghe right into the hall of a courtyard and pressed him into a chair.

Then, a dozen officers walked in in a dark mass of figures. Lining up neatly before him, they bowed towards Yun Zhonghe and saluted him, “Greetings, my lord!”

“Greetings, my lord!”

Crap, such pomp and circumstance, exactly what kind of an official am I?

*Author’s note.