There Were Times When I Wished You Were Dead

Chapter 10

The Empress was poisoned, and the Imperial Palace was flipped over. The investigation began, but there were no traces.

People who might have been involved were all found dead, with no evidence. Not even the Empress’s attendants.

From what Karloi saw, he was even more convinced that it was definitely the Duke’s work. Even in the Imperial Palace, there was no one who could do this so thoroughly except for the Duke. It was something he had been familiarized with.

“What is going on? Who would dare poison her Majesty?”

“Anyway, the coronation ceremony is the Empress’s job… who could try to do that?

“No? Then did the poison go into the glass by itself? Honestly, it’s obvious that someone would try to harm the Empress.”

“What?”

The Marquis of Roden screamed as it was unfair that the suspicion was on the Queen. Karloi sighed and dismissed the meeting.

The investigation was slow, and the nobles attacked continued to attack each other, divided between the Duke and the Emperor.

The Duke claimed that the Marquis of Roden must have poisoned the Empress, but none of the evidence came out supporting his claim so it was not accepted. It was a self-inflicted blow.

There was no lead, and things ended.

Nevertheless, the Duke could not intentionally try to poison his daughter. That was what Karloi gathered from his reaction. His face was as surprised as a person who had been in an unexpected situation.

No matter how much he thought about it, there were two possibilities. The Duke made a mistake, or someone changed the glass.

But the Duke wouldn’t make a mistake, and he didn’t have anyone to change glasses. Except for only one person.

[She drank only a small amount, and it was fortunate that Your Majesty made her drink the antidote right away. Her condition is not critical, so it seems that she will be conscious within a few days.]

Recalling Yvonne’s dedicated physician, Karloi wiped his face with his hands. He gazed at Yvonne’s face, lying on her bed.

Her face was so colorless that it felt like a lie. Her closed eyes showed no sign of opening.

It was already the third day. Karloi couldn’t figure out why he was here himself.

He doesn’t even know why he had so hastily fed the antidote in the first place. ‘Didn’t you always wish she was gone?’ If he chose not to do anything, Yvonne would have died.

With the unconscious Empress in front of him, Karloi struggled to come up with an excuse to make himself understand.

Yes, it must be an impulse. Anyone would instinctively act if a person is dying before their eyes.

He wasn’t worried about Yvonne. There was no reason for him to do that, but he kept returning to her bedroom for three days, continually, like birds returning to their nests.

When he closed his eyes, he vividly remembered Yvonne vomiting blood, causing him to not be able to sleep comfortably. He remembered her small body trembling with her face on his shoulder.

False rumors were circulating among the people of the Imperial Palace that the Emperor seemed to have finally realized the preciousness of the Empress.

There were rumors, rumors, and rumors. He grumbled in his own ridiculous doubts; Yvonne was the only one who knew this in advance, and she could’ve changed the glasses.

But it’s not like she was throwing the glass away, she drank it herself. It’s just a ridiculous guess.

“Are you crazy?”

Karloi unwittingly put his finger under Yvonne’s nose. Since Yvonne was lying down as if she’s dead.

He felt her breath on his hand. It seemed that she was still alive. As his hand touched her cheek, he felt cold skin. It was so cold that he suddenly got goosebumps.

It was a moment when Karloi, who had been so fascinated for a while, was about to move his hand. Yvonne’s eyelashes were weakly trembling, and Yvonne opened her eyes.

Karloi couldn’t take his hand away and paused. Yvonne blinked her eyes very slowly a couple of times. Her eyes were confused as if seeing something strange.

She was too close. Her green eyes, which he hated so much, were right in front of him.

“…Kal?”

Yvonne whispered.

“What…?”

Karloi muttered blankly. After the death of the Emperor, Karloi became stiff upon hearing his nickname for the first time. He couldn’t answer and just stared at Yvonne blankly.

Yvonne’s eyes, as she watched Karloi, who wasn’t even moving, slowly closed again, like it was a dream. Even after Yvonne fell asleep again, Karloi didn’t move for a while. He didn’t understand what had happened.

It was only after the handmaid came in and called him with her puzzled face before Karloi could sit back unnaturally.

It was apparent that the Empress was really insane.

He kept thinking that she must have gone crazy for calling him by his nickname.

Or did she have another man named Kal? Karloi couldn’t believe his ears to the point of coming up with such absurd speculation.

The feeling of being called by his own nickname reminded him of a person he missed, but he shook his head. He must have gone crazy himself. They are not alike. Why the hell did he think that?

“Ha…”

Karloi took a long breath and grabbed his trembling hands. It was then when Yvonne’s words suddenly came to mind.

[This is for your sake.]

[I was going to live in this palace quietly, so you wouldn’t even hear my breathing. This would benefit to Your Majesty, for me to do nothing and live as a scarecrow Empress.]

Feeling suffocated, Karloi swept his hand over his mouth. Yvonne’s gaze, which sometimes grows bold as she looks at him, reminds him of Yvonne, who was protecting him in the garden.

[Do you think I would do that?]

Yvonne’s unhappy look when asked the question. The face changed after hearing Karloi’s answer.

Yvonne was poisoned and fell instead of Keana.

A thought squeezed through him with a tight breath.

[I think the Empress does not hate Your Majesty.]

Keana’s words hit him hard in the head, but still, it didn’t make sense. Yvonne had no reason not to hate him. He’s not stupid.

But what if that one thing, out of a thousand, is really correct?

Yvonne opened her eyes again, figuring how much time had passed. She saw Karloi alone, deep in his thoughts.

“…Your Majesty, why are you here?”

Karloi was surprised by her poorly rested voice and looked at Yvonne. She was looking at him with subdued eyes as if she couldn’t even remember waking up for a while.

She couldn’t believe the first thing she saw as she opened her eyes was Karloi, and Yvonne continued to inspect Karloi. As if trying to see if this was a dream or reality

Karloi tried to open his mouth, but nothing came out. Yvonne looked around for a moment, then exhaled a long breath, trying to grasp the situation, but confusion was shown on her face when she looked at Karloi.

It was only after he cleared his throat several times that Karloi was able to speak.

“…Three days have passed since you were unconscious from the poison. How is your body, Empress?”

“Apart from feeling a little dizzy, I’m all right.”

Although she was speaking slowly, she was overly calm for someone who was poisoned. Her appearance fueled Karloi’s suspicion or even speculation.

It was strange that she was poisoned and didn’t ask anything.

“Did you know the Duke’s plan?”

“…What?”

“You acted like you knew what I meant when I told you to leave Keana alone.”

Yvonne briefly closed her eyes. Seeing her trembling eyelids, Karloi asked again.

“Are you aware of the poisoned glass in advance and swapped it? What did you do after knowing the Duke’s plan… No one other than you can know such a thing in advance…”

Yvonne slowly opened her eyes again. Even with his very unkind and blatant questions, Yvonne looked straight at Karloi without feeling surprised.

“I’m not sure what you’re talking about, Your Majesty. Unless I’m crazy, I wouldn’t poison myself.”

It was an unemotional tone, as usual. However, it gave Karloi a firm conviction.

Yvonne Delois is crazy, he doesn’t know why, but she’s not sane, so she must have drunk the poison herself. She doesn’t even ask who the perpetrator is.

Yvonne turned her head to see if what she said was burdensome for Karloi, though he looked at her without saying anything. Even that was suspicious.

“…The Empress mumbled in her sleep and called my nickname.”

Karloi did not miss seeing Yvonne’s face hardened for a moment. She responded too quickly that it felt impatient.

“Your Majesty must have misheard.”

It was really ridiculous. Yvonne’s strange attitude instead fueled Karloy’s crazy speculation.

The more he became convinced by his ridiculously strange conviction, the more distorted Karloi’s face became.

The reason she informed the Duke’s plan, drank the poison, and lied this way. There was only one reason that came to Karloi’s mind.

[If you are blinded by love, you’ll lose sight.]

Keana’s voice hovered in Karloi’s head. The image of his grandfather, who sold the country for his love, was there too.

[There would be nothing in sight…]

Even before the rational judgment was over, Karloi acted instinctively. He grabbed Yvonne’s cold hand on the bed.

At his unfamiliar appearance, Yvonne turned her head back with surprised eyes and looked at Karloi.

There was a strange tension in the silence between the two.

“… I was worried.”

At Karloi’s words, Yvonne’s eyes grew wide, unbelieving the current situation. Karloi gave Yvonne a little more strength to hold his hand by placing his other hand over hers.

She could feel the warmth from Karloi’s hand transferred to Yvonne’s hand. Perhaps because of that unfamiliar touch, Karloi’s heart pounded unpleasantly.

It was a very strange feeling he first felt. His heartbeat overwhelmingly, and his body felt hot and not in his control.

Karloi told himself it was the excitement of the one who foresaw victory. The excitement that his turn to finally get to kill Delois has arrived.

Karloi Croisen was a man who couldn’t love anyone, but he knew he could be the one who uses love instead.