To You Who Never Loved Me - Chapter 10

Chapter 10

 

The huge trees were dense, so the inside of the forest could not be seen.

Now that the sun is setting, and I observed it from a distance, I might feel

that way.

…You mean we have to go into that forest tomorrow? I’m somewhat

anxious.

“Rose.”

A lightweight was put on the tip of the nose. Someone who touches my

nose this way, it’s obvious who it is.

“…Michael.”

“You can’t get caught up in your dreams.”

Michael gently grasped my shoulder and sent me in Seed’s direction.

“Would you please tell Becky to get up and help me with her work?”

Looking back, except for Becky’s yawning, Pavice and Seed were each

diligently preparing for camp.

“Is there anything I can do to help?”

I thought I could do the job of preparing for the bed. I looked at Michael

with anticipation, hoping to do something. Michael looked at me and said,

smiling awkwardly.

“What can you do.”

I didn’t understand the meaning for a very short time, but soon I

understood the meaning and lowered my head. Michael stroked my hair as

if he were soothing.

“You are still small and young.”

Michael certainly didn’t mean something bad. I indeed wasn’t much help.

Still, there must be one thing I can do…

“You’ve done everything you can if you act cute next to me.”

A comforting touch patted me on the shoulder a couple of times. I didn’t

want to make Michael uncomfortable because of my feeling on a useless

subject.

“Then I’ll tell Becky!”

Looking bright again, I ran to Becky, leaning against the tree to sleep.

“Hey, Becky! Don’t play, do something!”

I heard the sound of Pavice getting mad at Becky. Of course, it wasn’t Becky

who would move if Pavice was angry.

“Becky!”

“My little girl, why are you here?”

“Michael wants to see Becky and help with the work.”

“…What. Did you finally come to me for work?”

While complaining, Becky got up from his seat.

“Becky, I’ll help you!”

Becky reluctantly moved without hiding her annoyance. After untying the

firewood that had been obtained from the village and sat down with his

buttocks on the ground again to light a fire. Pavice looked at Becky with

such un unkind gaze, but that was all. In the meantime, I distributed food

and water to the horses who must have suffered.

Although Becky was lazy, preparations for camp went smoothly. And by the

time all the preparations were done, the sun had completely set and night

came.

As we sat around with the fire in the middle, even if it was my first time

sleeping outside, I didn’t feel uncomfortable or scared. Probably because

the people you are with are uniquely reliable.

Becky quarreled with Seed, who quietly looked at the fire, and Pavice was

trying to stop Becky. I lay my head down on Michael’s lap and watched the

group.

“Little girl should go to bed early.”

Michael covered my eyes, but I grabbed Michael’s hand and shook my

head. It was an expression of not wanting to sleep yet. Then, with a low

laugh, the hand covering my eyes was removed.

“Now you’re whining.”

The hand that covered my eyes tickled my chin. I felt like a real cat, but I

didn’t hate it because Michael’s eyes seem really cute.

“You know, Michael.”

“What.”

“Why are you going to the temple where the Goddess Of The Moon

enshrined? There was also the nearest Gamilla Temple to receive an oracle.

“I have something to get from The Moon Goddess.”

“Yeah…?”

Does that mean you have something to get from the temple?

“More than that, Rose.”

“Yes.”

“You’re going to sleep now, aren’t you?”

“But…”

“Other kids are going to sleep now.”

When I looked around, the noisy atmosphere subsided more than before. I

shouldn’t be so stubborn here.

“Then sing me a lullaby.”

“Lullaby?”

I was act childish when I said it, but Michael’s acceptance made me want

to be more childish.

“Which song would you like…”

“When we first met. I want to hear the song I sang at that time.”

“Yes, that would be great.”

Michael again covered my eyes and tapped my shoulder with the other

hand.

And hummed the tune we sang when we first met.

I think it was a lullaby, but what were the lyrics of this lullaby…

The lyrics seemed to come to mind.

“Let’s meet tomorrow, Rose.”

However, Suma’s temptation came over me.

I was on the ground of reality, and his voice drowned me in a dream.

His lullaby sent me into a dream.

* * *

The sound of flowing water in the valley woke me up on the day I slept

soundly. However, it was unpleasant to be disturbed during sound sleep. It

was nighttime when the moon still dominates the sky, but it was refreshing

as if I was sleeping well. I got a body lighter than usual.

“Michael?”

And then I realized something strange.

No matter how much I looked around, Michael couldn’t be seen. Not only

Michael, but Becky, Pavice, and Seed… No one in the group was seen.

“Becky? Wave, Pavice?! Where have you all gone?”

No matter how much I called the party members, there was no answer

from them.

“Seed! Now, don’t play around!”

That’s not all. Even the traces of the fire we had with Jim disappeared. In

the place where firewood and ashes were supposed to remain in the burnt,

green leaves of grass were grown.

Where did everyone go? Wait a minute?…

‘Let’s meet tomorrow, Rose.’

He promised to see me again in the morning. But, why can’t I see anyone?

Right now, I have an unpleasant thought. Could it be that I have been

abandoned?

‘What can you do?’

I…

‘You’ve done everything you can if you act cute next to me.’

It’s useless…?

“Oh, it won’t be…”

Michael is a good and nice person. He’d rather left me in town, he wouldn’t

have left me like this.

‘Rose.’

Oh, or am I too complaining?

“Ah…”

‘If you don’t listen like this, your father has no choice but to abandon you.’

…No.

‘Are you going to keep rotting your father?’

Father and Michael are different. Michael is not the one who wants to use

me. Rather, Michael protects and helps me for no reason.

But that’s why I have nothing to say no matter when I’m thrown away.

I have to show my usefulness for being good at it.

“Michael…!”

If Michael comes back, I have to tell him. Although there is only one thing I

can do, my strength will help. I have to tell him.

“Michael!”

In case he would return, I couldn’t go far and stood in place and called

Michael’s name without fail. I didn’t stop even though my throat would be

hoarse.

Was my desperation conveyed?

Somewhere I heard a humming song. It was a lullaby that Michael sang. I

turned in the direction where I could hear a song without lyrics.

In the middle of the valley where the sound was heard, someone stood. It

wasn’t easy to see because it was far away, but I could see golden hair like

Michael.

“Michael!”

It looked like he was going to leave anytime soon. In urgency, I couldn’t

take my shoes off, so I dipped my feet in the valley water.

“Hey, wait! let’s go together!”

Even though he was still there, I was in a hurry because I was afraid that he

would leave.

As I approached him, lyrics were applied to songs that had no lyrics.

[Baby, baby, naughty baby.]

The valley is shallow and calm, but I don’t know why it is difficult to take

this one step.

[Keep quiet, you noisy one. Be quiet right now. Otherwise, ‘Chaos’

sleeping in the basement will pass in front of our house.]

The voice was clearly Michael’s. However, the owner of the pale golden

hair resembling Michael was someone else. Just by looking at it being a

woman, it seemed clear that it wasn’t Michael. Also, since Michael did not

use a bow, there was no reason to have a quiver on his shoulder like that

woman. So, that person wasn’t Michael.

However, Michael’s voice heard from somewhere did not stop singing.

[The sweetheart, it’s great darkness. It’s bigger and darker than the

underworld. It’s crouches in the basement and eats breakfast and dinner.

They eat bad people every day.]

The woman, standing on the ground full of water, did not look back at me,

even though I was close. And the voice of the song that was still being

heard without stopping began to change little by little.

Not Michael’s voice, but someone else voice.

…In my father’s voice

[My dear, if you don’t listen, it’ll jump in our home and rip your limbs at

once and kill you. Like a cat tearing a mouse to death]

A sudden fragment of my memory smashed me.

I had forgotten because I hadn’t heard it for several years, no, I tried to

forget it, but it was a song my father often sang as a lullaby when I was a

child.

Whether my father overprotected me, loved me, tried to protect me, my

father…

My father sang that song not only when I was sleeping, but also when I

disobeyed his words. He never hit me or cursed me, but instead, he

grabbed my shoulder, shook my head, and sang. Although it was a song, it

was an act of shouting.

‘At once! Rip a limb, it’ll kill you!’

‘Oh, father. Wrong, wrong…’

‘Like a cat tearing a mouse to death.’

‘Please forgive me…!’

“Ah, ah…”

Suddenly my head hurts when I recalled the memories I had forgotten for a

long time.