To You Who Never Loved Me - Chapter 4

Chapter 4

< The Beginning of the Story [4] >

“Do you live alone?”

“Yes, all of my parents died……”

“Then, you shouldn’t have anyone at home.”

“Michael is not just anyone.”

I spoke shyly and pulled a chair for Michael, and he sat quietly, but he

didn’t take his gaze away from me. It felt like an observing gaze, but I’m

not sure why he’s observing me.

“If I’m not anyone, then what?”

I was slightly embarrassed by the direct question. He was my savior, and at

that moment he was like a god. But I was ashamed to put this out of my

mouth. Most of all, Michael might feel burdened when I talk about this.

“That day… You saved me.”

That was the only thing I could say to him now. I felt awkward for nothing,

so I tried to bring up a different topic.

“That’s right. You said there’s something you are looking for in this town. If

you haven’t found it yet, I’ll be able to help you….”

“I found it.”

Michael cut my words lightly.

“Ok? That’s great.”

I wanted to ask what it was, but the last time I asked it, he said it was a

secret, so I didn’t intend to ask further. I didn’t want to offend or bother

his nerves.

“I’ve been working hard to find this for quite some time.”

Michael stared at me with an attitude as if he had the object in front of

him, and expressed it as ‘this’, not ‘that’.

“I don’t know what kind of thing it is, but… I hope it’s helpful to Michael.”

“Of course, this will be very useful.”

“…”

“Because I’ll make it that way.”

It was a little overwhelming because he didn’t take his eyes off me, but it

wasn’t bad.

“Rose, I want to talk to you about the abilities you showed last time.”

I welcome Michael’s actions that come to me, but why do I feel I am the

subject of the story. He didn’t say anything last time, but why he suddenly

come to my home and talk about my abilities?

Why? As my father is Michael……

“I’m worried about you.”

The fear and worries did not last long. It was easily solved by Michael’s soft

voice. It wasn’t meant to be, but he seemed to have the skill to listen to

people’s hearts.

“When did you get this ability?”

“I don’t know. Just from the beginning… I was able to do something like

this.”

Michael got up from the chair and approached me. Thinking of serving hot

tea, I stopped in a strange stiff position in the kitchen. Michael bowed his

head and asked quietly as if speaking secret words in my ear.

“Besides me, who else knows this?”

“No one… I do not know.”

My father also died, so all who knew about my abilities was myself and

Michael.

“You have a special power.”

At the moment he threw the word lightly, I frowned without knowing. To

be special was the one I felt most rejected.

“So I’m hiding it thoroughly.”

Being special meant that I was an object of envy and jealousy from other

people, so I didn’t know when and how I will die, so I had to hide myself

and withdraw my life for the rest of my life. So I hate to say that I’m

special.

“Why you hide it?”

However, Michael spoke completely unexpectedly.

“Well, if I get caught by people, I will be used…”

“If someone was there to protect you, that wouldn’t happen.”

My father tried to protect me and ended up fighting and dying.

“If a very strong person is by your side.”

However, as Michael said, if there were someone strong enough, no one

would have died and I would not have had to hide this power. All of them

are useless possibilities.

“Well, thank you for healing my wounds last time.”

“That’s because Michael saved me.”

“Is that so? Rose, doesn’t our relationship seem pretty ideal?”

“Yeah?”

“I save you, and you heal me.”

“Ah…….”

“It’s a relationship that helps each other.”

Does that mean that I help Michael?

For the first time, I was proud of my abilities.

“Rose can’t manage his facial expressions.”

I will be glad that I, who is of no use to anyone, help someone even a little.

It wasn’t even embarrassing that my thoughts came up. I thought this was

something to be proud of.

“It’s cute too.”

Michael’s big hand stroked my head. I don’t know why, but my cheeks

were hot. I heard a lot from my father about being cute. My father stroked

my hair a lot, too. But it was something different, I don’t know why it

tickles my stomach.

I followed Michael to the door and saw him off.

“There’s a guy named Becky among my colleagues.”

But Michael, who was standing at the front door, said something odd to

say that it was goodbye.

“Whenever that guy sees cute things, he says, “I want to kidnap it by

putting it in the cage.’”

“Yeah.”

“When I see you, I understand that word a little.”

“…Yeah?”

“I have a good dream, Rose.”

He just turned around without regrets. Only I, who was late in

understanding his words, stood there for a long time stupidly.

I had the confidence to listen to Michael’s words, but I couldn’t sleep the

whole night that night.

Since then, Michael has often visited me. He gave an interest to an orphan

that no one cared about. I’m the only one in the village who can talk much

with Michael.

Then, it was one day.

“Rose, how about leaving with me?”

“Yeah……?”

Michael told me to leave with him.

“I want you to go with me either, because you don’t have a family or

because you are like a younger sister to me.”

“…”

“More than anything else, I’m worried about leaving you alone in this

town.”

I felt like I wanted to hold his hand at once.

“The villagers were indifferent to you. Would it be okay if I wasn’t there?”

“…But adults often take care of the food.”

“Looks like they’re taking care of you so you don’t starve.”

“…”

“Rose, the world is tough for a child to live alone.”

Michael is right. The villagers couldn’t starve me, so they only distributed

food to the extent that I wouldn’t die. Better they hate me than be pitied.

When they look at me, they will think of my father, and they will

remember the selfishness that they saw when the monster was alive.

Actually, I was a child who didn’t care at all, but when I saw them, I was

definitely uncomfortable and annoyed.

“Come with me, Rose.”

I wanted to lean on Michael. I wanted to follow Michael who takes care of

me like my father or my brother. I didn’t have the confidence to live alone,

and I didn’t want to be left alone.

However, conscience did not allow it.

I wasn’t as fast as Michael’s colleagues and I didn’t know how to handle

bows and swords. Even if Michael taught it, it was obvious that it would

only be a stumbling block for him. Even if he finds me cute now, if I kept

getting in the way, it was obvious that he would eventually regard me like

a lump. It would be better to have only a short meeting, so I wanted to

leave only good memories of Michael.

“I didn’t like it… .”

When I shook my head timidly, Michael just stroked my head.

“Okay.”

He didn’t ask why I said I didn’t like it.

If I’m disappointed that Michael didn’t ask me anything, am I weird…….

I lowered my head as I felt the tip of my nose getting hot with useless

sorrow.

I refused Michael’s offer, and until the next day, I was in depression.

To be honest with me, I wanted to follow Michael more than anyone else.

This village was scary. I was scared of being alone. But what was even

scarier was to burden him.

What’s the point of regretting that I’ve already made the decision anyway.

It was the time when I looked out the window with a full sigh. Several

villagers were seen heading somewhere in a group. Michael was also

mixed among them. As soon as I saw him, I reflexively opened the door

and went out.

“Michael!”

Chasing him when I saw him was my reflex. I felt that the villagers didn’t

welcome me, but it didn’t matter much because I only saw Michael in my

eyes.

“Michael! Are you leaving already?”

Michael smiled brightly as always and stroked my head. It’s a familiar

behavior now, but I still noticed my face heating up every time Michael

stroked my head.

“I want to go to the temple for a while with the villagers.”

“The temple?”

“The monster died, but the villagers are still restless, so I’ll go to the

temple to see if there are any monsters left.”

I was a little relieved by those words.

You’re not leaving town already. I’m glad……

I told myself that I would not follow Michael, and I don’t know what

contradictory feeling this is.

I knew there weren’t any people in the village who would welcome me, so

I stayed home and waited for Michael all day long. I thought he would visit

my house as soon as he came back. Actually, he always comes to my house

when he doesn’t see me.

But this time it was different from my expectations. Michael didn’t come

to me until evening.

I looked forward to it alone and was heartbroken by myself.

The nearby tavern was still lit. Michael and his party had a conversation

with the villagers over there while drinking alcohol, so Michael might have

been there.

I want to see Michael’s face for a moment……

Wouldn’t it be better to peek through the window?

Like a cat, I sneaked into the bar. But something flew over my head.

“Ah!”

I made an agonizing sound by myself. It was just a small rock that hit my

head and fell. When I turned to where it was coming from, the pub’s little

son glared at me.

“…It hurts.”

“Get out of there!”

“…”

“It’s all because of you, get out of our town!”

I knew the contempt of the villagers toward me, the day when I was left

alone without a guardian, but this was the first time that such a small child

even threw a stone. At first, the situation just didn’t make sense. Then,

later resentment came.

“What did I do so wrong that I was even stoned by you?”

I know it’s useless to say this to a child who is less than ten years old. But I

had nowhere to confide this resentment. The ignorance and cold

treatment of the villagers toward mwereas not done openly, but secretly.

“The people of the village came to receive an oracle! They say you are the

bad luck of the town!”

“I……?”

“You! Because of you! Because of you!”