When I Loved You

“Anyway,” said Jaehee, “I’ll call you again soon.”

“Okay,” Yiyoung replied, “Take care of yourself.”

“Okay, I’ll talk to you later.”

“Yeah, stay well.” Yiyoung hung up and got up from the couch.

Jaehee had taught her something new. Yiyoung took a deep breath, determined to step outside by herself. She wished she was as strong as Dr. Kang, but there was nothing she could do about it, but one good thing was that Yiyoung was motivated to recover.

She took another deep breath, then walked toward the entrance. At first, she observed the hallway outside through the video door phone. They lived in a penthouse, and although she knew no one without a proper identification could come inside the building, she still felt nervous. Her heart beat rapidly as she looked outside.

Yiyoung clenched her chest tightly, feeling her heart grow heavy. “Let’s… just take one small step outside.”

Yiyoung agreed with Muyeol; her first step outside would be extremely important. So she decided to go forth with it. She pushed the hefty door open and took another deep breath. She slowly lifted her foot off the ground, but then her leg began to tremble and her vision grew blurry.

She closed her eyes, focused on her breathing to try and calm down. “It’s okay even if it doesn’t work. It’s your first time. Just think of it as a child taking its first steps.”

Muyeol wasn’t next to her, and she could feel that difference. When he was beside her, she hadn’t been this afraid, being able to freely walk around the hospital. There was also a huge difference in the atmosphere inside the house and the world outside; everything was peaceful inside, but every little thing outside seemed dangerous now.

But Yiyoung trusted herself more than anything, and she wouldn’t be defeated. “I can… I can do it.”

She believed in herself; all she needed to do was take the first step. After that, she could even run. She opened her eyes wide and yelled, “I can do it!”

And with that firm belief, Yiyoung took her first step outside. It was a shaky affair, and she tried to calm herself down when her breaths grew heavy. She reassured herself by telling herself that the hallway wall was a part of the house, and took a second step. But then her face grew pale as she broke out in cold sweat. She grew afraid that someone would show up out of nowhere and stab her.

Yiyoung placed a hand on the wall. She had been too scared to think straight, but the cool feel of the wall snapped her out of it. It reminded her of Muyeol; it felt the same as his blank, expressionless face. But whenever he smiled, he looked so cute, friendly, and sexy.

“What kind of human are you? How can you be so good looking? I can’t take my eyes off of you,” Yiyoung said as if Muyeol was standing next to her.

She missed him. Every day, she would be unable to take her eyes off the clock as she waited for him to come home. She imagined him standing in front of her, and gingerly stepped forward as it brought her closer to him.

Her face brightened as she realized she could finally do it. She felt as if she had become a super woman.

* * *

Mr. Hong parked his car and looked around. Muyeol was in the back of the car, sitting with his eyes closed. Mr. Hong watched Muyeol with a crestfallen look. He knew his boss had been working excessively hard ever since his first day back at work so he could get back home on time. And since this afternoon, Muyeol was suffering; his eyes and face had turned red, and Mr. Hong could practically feel the heat radiating from his body.

“I’ll escort you,” he told Muyeol.