You’ll Regret It - Chapter 6

“Hello, Young Lady.”

 

“Me, me? Yes!”

 

Yuri was still not used to being called “Lady”. She stared at the old man who called her “Lady.”

 

He was certainly one of the people who were close to the Duke. There were a lot of things that Yuri didn’t know, but that didn’t mean she was completely clueless.

 

“The Duke wants to have a meal with the Lady.”

 

“Yes, yes…?”

 

“I think it would be good if you came down now.”

 

Yuri followed the butler who guided her to the dining room. She was limping, but walking with a cane wasn’t too bad.

 

“You’re late.”

 

“Ah, I’m sorry….”

 

“Sit down.”

 

Yuri sat down. She even bowed her head and greeted the servant who pulled her a chair and gave her a napkin.

 

‘Ah, I seem to have made a mistake.’

 

Yuri’s brow furrowed and bowed her head, avoiding Aslan’s gaze as he stared at her. Aslan seemed to be looking at Yuri pathetically.

 

She clasped her hands together and looked sideways at Aslan’s face. Aslan looked at Yuri like that for a while, and then immediately started eating.

 

“Eat.”

 

Yes? Yes…”

 

The table finally came into Yuri’s view. It was full of food that she had never seen before in her life. In the first place, it was the first time she had even seen so much food that the table was full.

 

She looked at the plate in front of her and at the numerous forks. She just stared at them.

 

“Why aren’t you eating?”

 

“That’s……it’s…..”

 

Aslan noticed Yuri’s appearance and said in a displeased voice.

 

“I hate those who are slow.”

 

“Um, um, I’m not quite sure how you eat…”

 

Yuri’s cheeks began to visibly redden. She was ashamed of herself for not being able to learn even a single dining manner properly. Aslan put down the fork he had been eating and looked at Yuri.

 

‘It seems that I have offended the Duke.’

 

The dining room was full of brutal silence, and Yuri didn’t know how to use a fork like this, nor did she remember ever eating food like this before.

 

Yuri held back tears, barely talking to him as if squeezing her voice.

 

“No, I will try. ……….”

 

With a trembling voice Yuri finally mustered up the courage to say it. And that courage of hers was quickly destroyed by the Duke’s words.

 

“I lost my appetite.”

 

“…”

 

“Let’s end the meal.”

 

“Ah, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.”

 

At that moment, something in her heart seemed to be cut off.

 

‘It’s embarrassing. I don’t know anything.’

 

She was trying to be brave. She honestly said she didn’t know, and she didn’t mean to sound bad, but she said she would try.

 

He told her that he would be her family and that he forgave her. But she felt like she was letting him down and her ears turned red with shame.

 

“I’m sorry. Oh, I’ll try not to let this happen in the future.”

 

Yuri tried to speak calmly. She didn’t know what excuse to give. How could she go against his mood?

 

“Kasen.”

 

The Duke ignored Yuri’s words and called the butler. He quickly exchanged a few words with the butler and quietly left his seat. He strode across the dining room to his office.

 

‘I guess I have to get up too….’

 

Yuri was very disappointed with the food she didn’t get to eat. She wondered if so much food would be thrown away, She thought to herself as she looked at the table. She couldn’t take her eyes off the table.

 

As if he noticed Yuri’s gaze, Aslan stood in front of the dining room door and quietly opened his mouth.

 

“……. We can’t just throw the food away.”

 

“…”

 

“You finish your meal and go.”

 

With that, he turned right back around and headed for his office. At that moment, Yuri felt her heart, which had stopped, pounding again.

 

Yuri sat down again with her legs almost lost strength. She shook her head and slapped herself a few times.

 

‘What would have happened if you just cried? Good job, Yuri. Let’s endure it in the future.’

 

It was a funny thing. Normally, no matter what happened, tears never came out. But these days, she feels like crying every day, even with small things.

 

“Miss, I’m going to start preparing the meal again.”

 

“Oh, no. No, it’s okay.”

 

“The soup is cold. I’ll reheat it.”

 

At the young maidservant’s command, the maids moved into action. They served the soup again and began to cook the food anew.

 

Yuri wanted to stop them, but they just quietly did what they had to do. Yuir looked at the food as it came out again.

 

Yuri covered her mouth gently. The newly appearing food and tableware were completely different from before.

 

“I….”

 

“Yes, My Lady.”

 

“….Thank you.”

 

All the food had been cut small so it could be eaten without complicated forks and knives. The meat she saw for the first time was also cut, and the tableware was also one fork that fit perfectly in Yuri’s hand.

 

“Thank you…..thank you very much.”

 

“No problem, My Lady.”

 

The servants bowed and quickly returned to their original position. Yuri slowly began to eat the food that was placed in front of her.

 

‘I wonder if he really cared for me.’

 

Yuri remembered Aslan was talking to the butler. Perhaps Aslan had instructed him to do this. Yuri thought as she ate the unfamiliar soft bread.

 

The food in her mouth was sweet. This was the first time in her life that she had eaten such sweet food.

 

***

 

Duke Aslan Slevard hurried back to his office. The nausea seemed to be coming from inside. He said, looking for a cigarette he hadn’t always smoked.

 

‘I think my head is going to crack.’

 

It was strange. From the moment he saw Yuri, and especially from the moment he touched her, his chest warped and his head began to hurt like it was going to crack.

 

Things he couldn’t remember began to come back to him.

 

“D*mn it, d*mn it, d*mn it. D*mn it.”

 

Aslan felt uncomfortable with Yuri. She was the fruit of his mistake.

 

‘Why didn’t I think of that kid before?’

 

The carriage accident was the job he had ordered.

 

‘Was it really something I did?’

 

No, he didn’t remember giving such an order. His head started to hurt as he tried to remember clearly what had happened.

 

From the moment he sent Yuri to the temple, he knew how Yuri would live.

 

But he had never thought of her.

 

“What was so good about it?”

 

Aslan soon felt at ease when he saw Yuri, who was embarrassed in front of the table and was just watching the food. It was an impression that this much had done enough. He just felt like he was free from guilt.

 

“She must feel that much was big enough…”

 

He punished the child, but he thought it was okay. He thought just giving her rare food and letting her sleep in a nice bedroom was enough.

 

He thought it was about returning the freedom, meals, and home that he took from the child. He thought this was a good enough response.

 

“Oh, I don’t know how to eat…”

 

The sight of Yuri’s cheeks blushing in embarrassment as she said that was vivid. Aslan remembered Yuri’s words. Was that really the only thing he took from her?

 

“Did I really not know?”

 

He knew what would happen to Yuri.

 

“I knew everything.”

 

She would not have been treated humanely. She shrank as he approached, and her body shook when he raised his hands. He knew everything the priests would do as purification. He sent Yuri to the temple of the priests to suffer.

 

Yuri had a tendency to ask people’s permission for everything she did, and she was overly wary of people’s moods.

 

“Your Excellency.”

 

His butler, Kasen, spoke to him carefully. The Duke finally began to calm down.

 

“I have taken the measures as you asked.”

 

At first, Aslan was just going to lock Yuri in her room and send her to the north.

 

It didn’t matter what happened, he had nothing to do with it.

 

Yuri would be getting married soon, and in a few months she would be going to the far Northern Territory. Whether she would freeze to death there or die at the hands of the Count, he didn’t think it was any of his business.

 

‘I thought that was all right.’

 

That was why he tried not to teach her manners, knowledge, or northern culture. Because the moment Yuri marries the frontier Count, she will be Erentail, not Slevard.

 

But then it was bound to end. If she were to enter the social circles of the North, she would be ignored, and her husband would ignore her. There was no way she could be happy with such an end.

 

“I invited an etiquette teacher.”

 

“Leave. I want to be alone.”

 

Aslan closed his eyes as Kasen walked out of the office.

 

For some reason, he wondered. Things that didn’t come to his mind no matter how hard he tried were slowly resurfaced. As if he had thrown a stone on the surface of the water, irretrievable memories began to emerge.

 

“Father, that’s the puppy over there! I like puppies.”

 

“Yes, you do. Lili. Lili. Don’t go too far.” 

 

“Father, I like big, white puppies. They’re really cute like that.”

 

“Hey, you called me father.”

 

It was a childhood image of Yuri that even Yuri had forgotten now.

 

He remembered her mumbling, “I don’t want to call you ‘father’, that’s too childish.” At that time, Yuri was cheerful and mischievous, and also liked to run around and play. She was such an ordinary, happy child.

 

‘Don’t think about it anymore. Let’s forget about it.’

 

Aslan encouraged himself. He didn’t want to blame himself any more for what had passed. His revenge was justified. There was no reason for it not to be just.

 

***

 

Yuri lay down on the bed. At first she wanted to eat all the food.

 

‘I guess my greed was too great.’

 

And yet, her body seemed incapable of granting even such a wish. All she could swallow was soft bread and a little soup.

 

‘Eating takes practice too……..’

 

She tried to eat other foods, but her body wouldn’t accept them. It was no surprise since she only ate bread and soup all her life.

 

‘Probably due to the fact that my life force was taken away.’

 

Yuri repeatedly clenched and opened her fists. She could feel the strength in her hands was weaker than before. It was a strange sensation of deprivation of vitality.

 

She felt like her body had become a piece of bread. As if I had become the inside part of a loaf of bread, her skin did not rise when pressed or held down. She was tired easily and it was hard to sit still for long.

 

“Baby, It’s been a while.”

 

It was a familiar voice. Yuri knew this voice. She looked around for the voice. The voice was coming from her shadow.

 

“Darkness! Oh, where have you been?”

 

“I was with you. I’m always with you.”

 

“Oh, I thought you were gone…….”

 

“Were you worried?”

 

“…… Yes, I was scared.”

 

Yuri went into the darkness. It wasn’t as cold as when they first met. The darkness held Yuri gently in its arms. Yuri smiled sweetly as she dove into the darkness’ embrace.

 

‘Welcome back.”

 

“Yes.Yes ……”

 

“You haven’t forgotten my story, have you?”

 

“No, I haven’t forgotten. My father….”

 

“I see. You’re a good girl.”

 

Yuri liked darkness. In any case, the darkness was the one that had brought her into the world. Yuri didn’t know how to light the torch at the temple. The darkness had started the torch with Yuri’s life force.

 

“Baby. Is your body in trouble?”

 

“Oh, no. It’s just this much….It’s easy!”

 

Yuri rolled up her sleeves with a more exaggerated voice to show her muscles. There was no face or shape in the dark, but she could see the darkness was smiling. Darkness soon stroked Yuri’s head.

 

“Baby, I’m sorry I took your life force away without permission.”

 

“No, it’s okay.”

 

“You’re good for the time being. If you win the bet, I will give you back all your life force.”

 

Darkness spoke as if sorry, but Yuri didn’t think there was anything wrong. It was good for Yuri. There was no such thing as no price in the world. It didn’t matter if she lost a little of her invisible life force on the condition of the bet.

 

“It’s really okay. I’m really fine…”

 

LNo, baby. This is dangerous.”

 

Darkness put a thin finger to Yuri’s lips, interrupting her words.

 

“You’re a little broken because you’re using too much vitality.”

 

“What?”

 

“Life will not circulate, and it will rot soon.”

 

“Well, that’s….. Is it important?”

 

“Yes.”

 

But it really didn’t matter to Yuri. She didn’t have any unfinished business with living this way. She wanted to eat better food and wear nicer clothes once in a while. But she wasn’t unhappy just because she couldn’t eat and wear those things.

 

The same was true for living. She didn’t think about death, but she didn’t think that death was unhappy.

 

“I’m… I’m really fine.”

 

‘Oh… I must have said something wrong. What kind of expression is that?’

 

Yuri reached out to the darkness. Darkness’s once calm face seemed to shake like a wave. Darkness did not have a face. Instead, she could feel its emotions on her skin. It was the first such emotion she had received in her life.

 

“Darkness.”

 

Yurie knew. She knew that if she had to choose between an angel and a demon, the demon was closer to the darkness. She also thought that she might be the one being deceived.

 

“Oh, Darkness, we’re friends, right?”

 

“I’m your eternal friend.”

 

Then Yuri had no problem. It didn’t matter if darkness had deceived her. Darkness’s every word was sweet.

 

“Please stay by my side.”

 

“…”

 

“Well, I……… have no one but you, darkness.”

 

“I will be with you forever, baby.”

 

Before when Yuri heard her mother’s story from an unknown mercenary, she always imagined what her mother was like.

What a wonderful person she was. How kind she must have been. And so she came to paint a vision of her mother, whose face and name she did not know.

 

‘She must be dead. But it doesn’t matter.’

 

The darkness was a perfect imitation of the mother Yuri had thought when she was a child. How could she not know? It was perfectly similar to that illusion, but the illusion was sweet. Even though she knew it was an illusion, she didn’t want to let it go.

 

“Thank you.”

 

Yuri smiled. She knew. Darkness had proposed marriage to her. Perhaps it was also the power of darkness that had brought her father to visit her after all.

 

It was only darkness that gave her kindness in this world. As if there was only darkness and herself left in the world, Yuri smiled brightly.