Your Regrets Are Late - Chapter 33

“More than that, I don’t even know what the little Duchess thinks sometimes.”

 

“…”

 

“After what happened to Baron Ite, I heard that Kanna’s tongue was cut off?”

 

“…”

 

“Sometimes I get goosebumps…”

 

“…please, shut that mouth.”

 

With small scars on his face, the knight found Charelize and bowed his head hurriedly.

 

“What? You talk a little harshly…”

 

“…”

 

“Hey, what’s wrong with you all of a sudden?”

 

The other knight, who hadn’t grasped the situation, was angry and puzzled.

 

“What the hell is going—”

 

He slowly turned around, feeling a stinging gaze in the back of his head. Then he made eye contact with Charelize, who stared at him with a hard face. He automatically stopped talking, which was having a blast just until now. His face became pale as if he had seen a ghost.

 

“…may Goddess Resina reach young Master.”

 

“G-Greetings… to the… little Duchess.”

 

The wisest person raised an example to Charelize first. Only then the other came to his senses and lower his head with a trembling voice. He was so surprised that he hiccupped and seemed at a loss. Charelize just stared briefly at him without saying anything. Still, his whole body trembled, and he couldn’t even face her properly.

 

“Your name?”

 

“…yes?”

 

“You still look young… but are you already deaf?”

 

“…My name is Chervil Leand Ethan from the 2nd knights…”

 

Charelize was strangely familiar with the face of the knight who was gossiping about her. So, as soon as she heard his name, she realized it at once.

 

“No way… are you thinking that His Grace will help you?”

 

He was the one who informed her that she was being driven out from Duke Marsetta, and he was also busy mocking her back then.

 

“Somehow, it’s you again.”

 

“…Y-Your Highness.”

 

Charelize was dumbfounded and let out a small laugh.

 

“Tell me what virtues you should have as a knight and what oath you made to me in the past.”

 

“…”

 

“Sir Ethan.”

 

“…the virtue of being a knight… don’t disgrace… the name of the empire… and live with honor…”

 

“Sir Vernon, speak on his behalf. I can’t… hear him.”

 

Charelize was annoyed by him, who didn’t answer properly. She shifted her gaze to the knight next to him.

 

“It’s loyalty to your master, patriotism to the empire, and courtesy to the lady.”

 

“Until you make the oath… are you going just to watch your best friend speak on behalf of you?”

 

“I gave my life… until the last moment. I must raise my sword and protect my master.”

 

“Sir Ethan. You, right now, haven’t kept any of those virtues or oaths.”

 

“Your Highness…”

 

“How dare you do something disrespectful by insulting your master.”

 

“…I apologize, Your Highness.” He immediately knelt down and asked for forgiveness.

 

“I don’t know how to trust you now, and why should I trust you.”

 

“…”

 

“I don’t need a dog that bites its owner without knowing its subject… From now on, with the little Duchess’s authority, I will remove you from your position as a knight.”

 

Charelize took out the brooch, symbolizing the knights of Duke Marsetta, and threw it on the floor. She stepped on the fallen brooch with her foot and trampled it.

 

Ethan couldn’t even make an excuse because he knew he was wrong, so he burst into tears. In most cases, no place would accept knights abandoned by their masters. Furthermore, he wasn’t a knight from an ordinary family but the knight of Duke Marsetta. It was easier to give up even the slightest hope.

 

“I hope you never see me again.”

 

“…we will step back. Please rest in peace under the protection of Goddess Resina.”

 

The knight with scars on his face quickly took notice of Charelize’s words, then bowed his head. After that, he forcefully dragged his best friend, who had lost all strength from what had just happened.

 

“Hailey.”

 

“Yes, Your Highness.”

 

“Do you think it was too much?”

 

“No. That knight didn’t have a good reputation even among the maids… Rather, you did well. How dare he speak lowly about Your Highness without knowing the subject.”

 

At Charelize’s question, Hailey shook her head in strong denial.

 

“…Really?”

 

“Shouldn’t he rather be put in prison right now for blasphemy?”

 

“From now on, he’s no longer a knight belonging to the duchy, so there is no need for that.”

 

Rather, Charelize sighed and stopped Hailey, who was furious.

 

“By the way.”

 

“…”

 

“It’s been a long time since I came here.”

 

Holding the tightly closed door handle, Charelize replied in a bitter voice. It was a private library for Charelize. It was made at the direction of Duchess Marsetta to commemorate Charelize’s birth. This place was extremely limited for others as only a few people with Charelize’s permission could enter.

 

“Your Highness.”

 

“…Hailey?”

 

Charelize was about to leave, but she was stopped by the sudden call from Hailey. Hailey, who approached her, quietly took out the key without saying a word.

 

“This… why is it with you?”

 

Charelize confirmed that the key had a small diamond in it, her birthstone. She soon noticed that the key would unlock the door to her private library, which was locked tightly.

 

“Lona, Your Highness old nanny, gave it to me then left.”

 

“…”

 

Since Lona left, Charelize had never visited her private library. It was the place where she spent the most time with Lona. It only contained bad memories. After she stopped walking there, she didn’t even think about it. So, she was a little surprised that Hailey had the key.

 

“And she left it with a message.”

 

“What… message…”

 

“She told me to give it to Your Highness when you want to go there. Until then, she wants me to take it over.”

 

“…Lona?”

 

“I told Your Highness earlier that you need to rest now, right?” said Hailey, putting the key in Charelize’s hand.

 

“The place where Your Highness should be right now is not the office where you look at the documents. It’s not also the garden where all the flowers had gone…”

 

“…”

 

“I think this is the right place. Please forgive me for not telling you until now.”

 

Hailey continued, “I got the key from Lona and kept it, but I have never come inside.”

 

“…why?”

 

“It just seemed like I shouldn’t.”

 

Hailey lowered her head slightly, and she went away before Charelize could stop her. Before going, she said, I think I will have to go now if I don’t want to cross paths with Martin, who’s coming to bring up the tea.” She was considerate so that Charelize could fully rest in her own space.

 

Charelize, who had been thinking about what to do for a long time, finally made up her mind and carefully inserted the key into the gap. Slowly, she turned the key, then there was a slight sound as the door opened.

 

Upon entering, the unique smell of paper, which only came from books, crossed the tip of her nose. The light headache that had been there for a while gradually went away. It felt like calming down her unstable mind.

 

A smile spread around Charelize’s mouth. It was shining even stronger today, as if the sun was in a good mood.

 

“Princess, I guess spring has come. This afternoon feels so warm.”

 

“Mother, the wind is still too cold. I think it would be better to close the windows.”

 

“I hope one day, a day will come when Princess can feel this warm sunlight.”

 

“I don’t understand.”

 

“You don’t have to understand. It’s alright.”

 

“…”

 

“I just wanted to share what this mother likes with Princess at least once.”

 

She recalled the conversation she had with her mother in the past. Charelize wondered what the warm afternoon sunshine her mother always talked about was. She used the stairs to go upstairs to open the closed window.

 

“Please… take care of yourself…”

 

“…”

 

“You must always be healthy, Princess.”

 

“…Goodbye, Lona.”

 

Since that day, she had never taken a single step there. Dust piled up all over the place, and it was quite messy. She moved her feet carefully and slowly moved forward.

 

Then Charelize tripped on something in front of her and almost fell. Looking closely, several books were scattered. It seemed like they had been there for quite some time.

 

Charelize bent down, then picked up the books and dusted them off. It was only a matter of time before the titles of the books caught her eye. Basic of Herbology, how to become a Doctor, a book about poisonous plants that became medicine, a book written by a doctor of Marquis Rikal. All of them were related to medicine.

 

Charelize thought of her forgotten childhood dream. The first thing the young child, who had to live hiding her emotions at the age when she should be spoiled in her parents’ arms, wanted to do something for the first time. It was to be a doctor who treated sick people and saved those who were dying. She wanted to treat her mother’s illness first.  

 

The memory of trying to somehow understand the difficult medical books just by reading them came to her mind.

 

* * *

9 years ago.

 

“You’re coming to the library again today?”

 

“Lona.”

 

“What are you doing?”

 

“I’m reading a book.”

 

When Lona asked what she was doing after carefully opening the door and entering, Charelize gave a simple and clear answer. Lona went upstairs and approached Charelize’s side.

 

“…Princess, these are…”

 

“I wanted to help my mother. I don’t really understand, but I read it.”

 

Lona’s expression, which confirmed what Charelize was reading, drastically darkened. Afraid that Charelize would be worried, she tried to calm herself.

 

Why does Charelize read these books? Lona could easily tell.

 

Duchess Marsetta’s condition, which they thought had improved recently, had deteriorated again. It was now difficult for the Duchess to even meet occasionally with Charelize. Even seeing Duchess Marsetta in pain, vomiting dark red blood, Charelize held it in without crying, perhaps because the Duchess was watching.