Your Regrets Are Late - Chapter 35

Charelize cried for quite a long time. Even her breath became stuffy. She took a deep breath and stood up to finish sorting out the books she hadn’t organized before.

 

As she was about to put the books she had been carrying into the bookshelf, one by one, she found a book with the same color leather as the one she had just been looking at.

 

Even the titleless and tick shape was the same, so it was confusing at first glance. No matter how much she thought about it, she made only one thing herself.

 

Charelize reached out and pulled out that book. She examined the contents inside. It was the language of the Risperan Kingdom, which was the family of the predecessor Duchess Marsetta.

 

“These are… the letters used by Princess’s grandmother, the former duchess.”

 

“Mother, didn’t the Kingdom Risperan already disappear after losing the war?”

 

“If you learn it, it will be useful someday.”

 

“…”

 

“From now on, this mother will teach you once a week.”

 

“Mother, when did you learn the language of the Risperan Kingdom?”

 

She once asked her mother why she had learned the language of the Risperan Kingdom.

 

“Before I got married, His Majesty Father told me to learn it.”

 

“Why?”

 

“The former duchess was the princess of the Risperan Kingdom, so I should learn the language of that kingdom to become close with her…”

 

Her mother’s face seemed to be getting darker and darker.

 

“…What does this sentence mean? I think the tone is very pretty.”

 

“It means you will meet your destined partner and build a lifelong relationship.”

 

“It’s so cool, Mother.”

 

“Princess, there’s no such thing as a fixed destiny. Life is up to you, so you have to choose the relationship you want to be with.”

 

At that time, Charelize hurriedly changed the subject, pointed out a random sentence, and asked what it meant. Her mother told her to live a life where she did her part rather than being dragged along by destiny.

 

After that, Charelize learned the language simply because she liked to be with her mother. However, as her mother’s condition worsened, she didn’t even have time to share her words with her mother. As a result, she gradually forgot the language of the Risperan Kingdom.

 

Charelize couldn’t think of the right person who made this thing. The book she had seen a long time ago was still there. Very few people could enter her private library. Even close ones had to ask for her permission every time they entered.

 

She looked at the contents of the book again.

 

“…Dismerato?”

 

On the first page, one word was written, which translated to ‘Diary.’ Charelize remembered it belatedly, so the speed at which she read it was slow, but she could figure out what it was about.

 

* * *

「 Raya’s Dismerato.

 

Date unknown. The day the sun rose early.

 

After two weeks, I asked my mother what the eternity of spring was. My mother said in a very low voice that it was a spring flower. She had really sad-looking eyes.  

 

My mother said that her long-awaited spring didn’t come for a long time. So, I told her I would be the first to give spring to her.

 

That day, my mother shed tears in front of me for the first time. 」

 

* * *

Charelize turned to the next page and read a few lines. Still, she couldn’t guess who the owner of the diary was. Furthermore, those who knew the language of the Risperan Kingdom were extremely rare.

 

During her short reign, Tithtena I, the half-sister of the predecessor emperor, participated directly in war and destroyed the Kingdom of Risperan. He also ordered the ancestor Duke Marsetta to marry Princess Crose to suppress the duke’s power.

 

Princess Crose was out of her own way and doing public activities. After she gave birth, she never left the Duchy. The predecessor Duke Marsetta also openly took in concubines, and their marital relationship was not smooth.

 

Because Princess Crose’s authority within the duchy was small, people of the Risperan kingdom were either sold into slavery or ran away, hiding their identities.

 

Even the current Duke Marsetta, the only child of Princess Crose, didn’t learn that language. Therefore, it was hard to figure out the owner of this book.

 

Charelize reluctantly stopped looking for its owner, left her private library, and returned to her office.

 

“Hailey.”

 

“You’re here, Your Highness.”

 

Hailey, who saw Charelize, didn’t say anything more. She just brought the tea Charelize hadn’t had before and left immediately.

 

Charelize was grateful for her consideration. She continued reading, turning over the next page of the diary she had brought with her as she raised her teacup.

 

* * *

「 Raya’s Dismerato.

 

Sun in the Summer, 1486.

 

The gardener, Lyssen Lucan, was poisoned.」

 

* * *

Charelize doubted her own eyes. That much she was shocked by the phenomenon she was seeing.

 

“Baby, don’t go to the garden from now on.”

 

“But…”

 

“Baby.”

 

“…I understand.”

 

“Good.”

 

“My older brother’s name is Radin, but why am I the only one called baby when we’re twins? I want to have a name.”

 

“…Raya.”

 

“Raya?”

 

“It means the stars in the night sky.”

 

“It’s so pretty. Thank you.”

 

“When everyone is asleep, when no one is watching… You are shining just like the star in the night sky.”

 

“…”

 

“That’s how you can live. Even if it’s a star nobody knows about, just being alive. That’s all you have to do.”

 

“The reason my father doesn’t kill me is not that he considers me his son…”

 

“Baby.”

 

“It’s because he’s afraid he will be cursed. But, I already knew it was a lie Mother made up to save me.”

 

 

The conversation between mother and son written in the diary seemed to be seen as a scene at that time. The owner of this diary was a boy named Raya, the twin brother of Duke Marsetta.

 

Quite a number of people lost their lives and were marked dead, including the gardener, who was said to have been poisoned. It was written that everyone died because they saw things they shouldn’t see and they were curious about the person who shouldn’t exist in the world.

 

It was clear that the woman who claimed to be the mother that later suicide was referring to the late Duchess of Marsetta.

 

“She was the only one who was kind to this mother.”

 

“My grandmother?”

 

“She herself was the last bloodline that came as a hostage of the ruined kingdom, so she knew my sorrow well. Even though she said she couldn’t compare it to the precious princess.”

 

“Mother…”

 

“She fully understands the feeling of having to live the rest of her life in a place no one welcomes you…”

 

“…”

 

“She… hanged herself, leaving this world quietly. After the funeral of the previous duke.”

 

She raised her one and only child, even let her husband take in concubines, then followed her husband to die. She hanged herself less than a day after Charelize’s mother was called as Duchess of Marsetta.

 

Charelize turned to the next page with her hand shaking.

 

* * *

「 Raya’s Dismerato

 

The Duke’s Butler, Sebastian. He was the only person my father didn’t kill, even though he knew my existence. I wonder why he didn’t kill the butler. I don’t wish for his death.

 

However, my fear of my father, who was strangely generous, continued to grow.」

 

* * *

The person named Sebastian, written in the diary was an old butler of Duke Marsetta who passed away a few years ago. Charelize called the butler, flipping through the back of the page, which had a similar note written on it.

 

“Butler.”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Who is the person named Raya?”

 

“Young… Master.”

 

For the first time, Charelize saw the butler blatantly flustered.

 

“Unknown to the world.”

 

“…”

 

“Is he the twin brother of His Grace?”

 

Charelize asked the second question to the butler, who had no answer.

 

“How… did you know that.. young Master…?”

 

“I found his diary in my private library.”

 

The butler answered a question that was neither negative nor positive.

 

Charelize held Raya’s diary in her hand. The butler was very nervous. He took the diary with a trembling hand and opened it hastily.

 

“It’s not the imperial language, so it will be difficult for butler to read.”

 

“I know the language of the Risperan Kingdom.”

 

“Since when?”

 

“…My grandfather is a refugee from the Risperan Kingdom.”

 

Surprisingly, the blood flowing through the butler’s body was not from the empire but from the Risperan Kingdom.

 

“I’ve never actually been there because Her Majesty Tithena I started the war. But…”

 

“But?”

 

“With the teachings of my grandfather, who took special care of me, I have been learning it since I was little.”

 

“Is that so?”

 

The butler breathed a small sigh before uttering the following words.

 

“Sir Raya… is the twin brother of Your Grace.” It was a voice mixed with sadness and sympathy.

 

“Why did they hide his existence?”

 

“That’s…”

 

Knock, knock. At that moment, someone’s polite knock was heard.

 

“Who is it?”

 

“This is the head maid, Your Highness.”

 

“Let’s stop this conversation. And…”

 

“…yes, young Master.”

 

“It must be complicated in your mind, so I will give you some time to organize your thoughts.”

 

Charelize waved her hand at the butler to show he was free to leave.

 

“Really… you don’t have… anything to ask me?” The butler asked back with a look of surprise.

 

“I’m just giving you time. I didn’t say I wouldn’t ask for anything.” Charelize added that she was literally just giving him some time.

 

“…thank you.”

 

“Tell the head maid to come in.”

 

The butler immediately bowed his head, thanked her, and left the room.