Your Regrets Are Late - Chapter 41

In the next life… you want to be my mother again?

 

After hearing what the precious person she would never see again thought, she wondered if there would be anyone who wouldn’t cry about it.

 

Charelize wiped away tears that were flowing down fast. Looking down at the letter, she slowly moved her gaze toward the zinnia flowers on the tomb. The two flowers that never fell, even after many years, seemed to represent the heart of her deceased mother, who had missed her family all her life.  

 

At that moment, the large spire bell rang a couple of times. Right before the succession ceremony of Grand Duke Innovestin began. It was the sound that signaled to enter soon.

 

Charelize loosened the grip on the letter, which she gripped tightly before.

 

“Mother.”

 

She bit her lips, trying to calm down her emotions that rushed in like waves.

 

“Remember? If we have another life, I want to be my mother’s mother… That’s why I will always walk with you, tell you countless times that I love you, and spend our normal lives together.”

 

Then, she brought out words that she had never said in her whole life.

 

“You couldn’t lift me up when I fell… Instead, you taught me to wake up immediately and brush it off.”

 

She could cut some of her twisted minds like tangled threads to some extent.

 

“Born as my mother’s daughter, really… I am happy.”

 

Charelize took her steps to get out. A sudden gust of wind gently brushed her cheek. Come to think of it, it was exceptionally sunny today. The warm sunlight also followed Charelize throughout the day. Her eyes were closed reflexively at the dazzling light as she looked up at the sky.

 

“…this?”

 

Charelize suddenly thought of this. She wondered if her mother, who had been listening to what she said, might have answered her. Turning around again, the zinnias that caught her eyes weren’t disturbed at all, even by the wind that just blew. It stayed where it was.

 

A throbbing pain in the corner of her heart passed. It was so strange that she couldn’t even express it in words.

 

Charelize managed to get out of the Florence Palace and headed to Erharak Hall, where the succession ceremony would be held. A man with light blue hair was walking on the other side of the corridor she had taken. She seemed to meet him only when she was in a bad state.

 

Charelize was embarrassed if he would find a trace of her tears when she read the letter. It was as if she wasn’t with someone, not alone, so she couldn’t pass by him. Nevertheless, regardless of her will, her heart pounded irregularly fast. The small beating of her heart made her laugh.

 

What the hell was my relationship with him before I lost my memory? Whenever she saw Arensis, she didn’t know why this kind of reaction came out automatically. For the first time, Charelize became curious about him.

 

“Can’t you solve this? My neck keeps tightening, and I feel like I will die of discomfort.”

 

“Don’t mix things halfway, and fix your tone first. Or just go back first. Then…”

 

“Then?”

 

“She still doesn’t fully remember you….”

 

When Arensis identified the owner of the shadow walking from afar, he suddenly stopped talking to the person next to him.

 

“Greetings to Your Royal Highness Prince. May Goddess Resina bless you.”

 

“…”

 

“Your Highness?”

 

“May… you be protected.”

 

“What’s wrong?”

 

“What brings you here… No, that’s not what I mean…”

 

He had a visibly flustered look on his face and stuttered.

 

“Isn’t today… the day of Grand Duke Innovestin’s succession?”

 

“…Ah.”

 

Charelize was puzzled by Arensis’s reaction. Seeing his rapidly flushing face, she wondered if he was sick.

 

“Greetings to the little Duchess.”

 

“You are?”

 

The moment she tilted her head slightly and tried to ask him.

 

“I-I’m Viscount Luche, an aide to Prince Arensis.”

 

The one who spoke instead was a man next to Arensis. The man who identified himself as Viscount Luche drew a soft line.

 

“…I think I’ve seen you somewhere.”

 

“D-Do you have a problem…?”

 

“…”

 

“No way…”

 

Viscount Luche had relatively sharp eyes. To make matters worse, he had white hair close to gray and a mysterious appearance with two eyes of different colors.

 

Feelings somehow familiar, Charelize looked closely at Viscount Luche’s face. Lili…? She remembered the name of the cat Arensis was raising.

 

Viscount Luche lowered the corner of his mouth and made a bewildered expression.

 

“Nice to meet you.”

 

“…”

 

Charelize, who was greeted belatedly, shook hands with Viscount Luche. Viscount Luche took her hand reluctantly, with tears in his eyes.

 

“She has been looking for you since a while ago.” Arensis, displeased with the scene, narrowed his brow and said those to Viscount Luche.

 

“Who?”

 

“…Sister Casilla.”

 

“…why?”

 

“Don’t you remember when you promised to stick around quietly?”

 

“Karen… is looking for me?”

 

“Yes.”

 

When Princess Casilla of the Peschete Empire said to be looking for him, Viscount Luche trembled.

 

“First… I have to go, Your Highness.”

 

“Take care, Viscount Luche.”

 

Viscount Luche gradually moved away with a face that had given up everything.

 

“Viscount Luche…”

 

“Yes?”

 

“Is he the cat I saw at the mansion that day?” Charelize shrugged her shoulders and asked as she watched the back of Viscount Luche as he left.

 

“…that, how…?” Arensis wondered if her memory had returned.

 

So, he asked with a lot of nervousness.“Your memory… are they back…”

 

“You always treat your superiors comfortably all the time, even calling me by my nickname…”

 

“…”

 

“I knew it when I saw that his appearance didn’t change too much.”

 

“…ah.”

 

“I’ve looked at the data, but it really has the ability to turn into a human form.”

 

Charelize was surprised to think of the story of the woman she heard on the day she met Professor Hail and the contents of the books she had read separately.

 

She was its owner’s lover. In other words, she knew that one pupil changes with the color of the eyes of their owner partner.

 

Charelize didn’t bother to say that she couldn’t remember anything. It was because Lili’s eye, which proved that he still loved her, made her feel guilty.

 

“…I see.”

 

“And… even if it isn’t.”

 

“…”

 

“At that time, Lili’s eyes led me to His Royal Highness’s bedroom…”

 

Charelize looked up herself from the face of Viscount Luche, who was bewildered.

 

“So, it’s the same.”

 

She recalled that there was a longing that she couldn’t figure out.

 

Arensis, who was listening quietly to her, smiled bitterly.

 

“That guy, he was smiling outwardly, but… he cried a lot at that time.”

 

“You mean Lili?”

 

“Yes, it was strange that he followed you to the Imperial Palace, not to mention that he turned into a human after a long time..”

 

“…”

 

“Perhaps, he did it to meet you.”

 

At first glance, his expression was so confused when he was actually crying.

 

“When I… died… Did Your Royal Highness… cry too?”

 

“…”

 

The thing that kept his mouth shut until just now. Charelize, it was her.

 

“I will ask again.”

 

“…”

 

However, the atmosphere quickly changed with one question.

 

“On that day, why… were you crying?”

 

There was silence. There was a breathtaking calm atmosphere.

 

“Before I die… the last person I saw… was crying so sadly.”

 

Charelize was stabbed by a dagger, but something hurt more than being stabbed. It hurt more to see Arensis crying, whom she had no memory of.

 

“How far… do you remember?”

 

“I can’t be specific, so I’m not sure… I don’t know.”

 

Charelize shook her head because she wasn’t sure of anything.

 

“..Are you okay?”

 

“What… do you mean?”

 

“Your eyes are red… I’m worried.”

 

“You’ve got it wrong. I just can’t sleep…”

 

She reflexively said no.

 

“It’s still vivid. In the spring of your 11th year old, you said you didn’t cry…”

 

“Spring of my 11th-year-old?”

 

“Like now… I gave this to you.”

 

Arensis took out a handkerchief from his arms.

 

“Why did I cry… You asked, didn’t you?”

 

“Now, what is this…”

 

He confirmed that there was still water around Charelize’s eyes.

 

“That’s what you said.”

 

“?”

 

“You…”

 

“…”

 

“…Because you were the first.”

 

He wiped with a careful touch and recited quietly. His tears seemed to be welled up, but he raised the corners of his mouth slightly to hide them.

 

“There’s something I have to do, so I’ll go first, Your Highness.”

 

After that, Arensis left first, saying he had something else to do. Charelize felt a sense of alienation from Arensis, who called her as ‘Your Highness.’ It was a natural title for her, no different than usual, but she didn’t know why she felt this way.

 

“I’ll go first. I’ll see you later, Lize.”

 

Again, memories she saw for the first time flashed through her mind. It didn’t hurt like before. But obviously, spring had passed, but she could smell the sweet scent from somewhere.

 

“The… first?”

 

What did he mean by the word ‘first’? Did he force himself to smile even though he looked like he was about to cry at any moment?  It was strange, but she didn’t hate it. Charelize’s feelings for Arensis were building up again.

 

She arrived at the entrance of Erharak Hall, where the succession ceremony would be held.

 

“Here comes the little Duchess of Marsetta, Charelize Elze Roxana von Marsetta!”

 

The servant in front of her announced her arrival. After that, they saw Charelize solo entrance without her partner.

 

“This time too… His Grace Duke of Marsetta…”

 

“How can she do that?”

 

“Breaking off her engagement with the second esteemed son of Marquis Radiasa—”

 

“It’s been a while since her engagement ceremony… but what happened?”

 

Each of them was busy whispering to each other.

 

“You’re here, Your Highness.”

 

“Don’t pay attention to what you are hearing…”

 

Hailey and Martin, who were waiting for her, approached. Nevertheless, the curious gazes were still there.

 

“How bored their mouths must be that they don’t even dare to come before me.”

 

“Your Highness?”

 

“When it comes to talking behind my back, it’s something I expected.”

 

As Martin worried with a restless look, Charelize answered with a leisurely smile.