Your Regrets Are Late - Chapter 52

“Perhaps… he tried to bring something by releasing the seal with young Master’s blood.”

 

“You mean he deliberately kept his diary out of sight… because he can no longer enter this place?”

 

“…It seems so. I remember how many times he came after the predecessor duchess passed away.”

 

“Ha.” Charelize let out a sigh as he ran her hand through her hair. It was unpleasant that someone was watching and trying to test her.

 

“I didn’t know that the young Master knew the language of the Risperan Kingdom. Even His Grace didn’t learn it…”

 

“My mother taught me herself.”

 

“…Madam?”

 

“Yes.”

 

The butler handed over to Charelize a thin needle as if he had prepared it before.

 

“You’re… always ready for everything.”

 

“I will take that as a compliment. Gently poke the young Master’s finger and let your blood drip on the valve.”

 

Charelize let out a hollow laugh and poked her index finger with the needle she was given. When her red bloom formed, she dropped it onto the central portion of the valve without hesitation.

 

“…What happened?”

 

There was no reaction whatsoever. Charelize narrowed her brown.

 

“When the young Master’s blood dropped, it permeated, so the seal the predecessor duchess put on seems to have been released.”

 

“I don’t know whether to say it’s amazing or weird.”

 

“First, please wipe it.”

 

The butler took out a handkerchief and held it out to Charelize. He showed his stubbornness not to say anything until she received it.

 

Charelize was well aware of the character of the butler, who never gave up once he made up his mind. She couldn’t help but stop the bleeding by gently tying her index finger with that handkerchief.

 

“Put your hand on the valve and say ‘Mavel Diversio’.”

 

“Mavel… Diversio?”

 

“This is the password the predecessor duchess put.”

 

The butler, who checked with his own eyes until her finger stopped bleeding, told her what to do next.

 

“…Mavel Diversio.”

 

With a rather loud sound, the valve was thrown back, and she saw the stairs going down.

 

“What do they mean?”

 

“Live freely at a faraway place. That’s the meaning.”

 

“The mother’s wish for her son’s freedom even after hearing death has been completely crushed.”

 

“…”

 

“What he was trying to find by allowing me to see the diary…What is it…”

 

The butler went down first and checked if there was anything dangerous. After that, he came back up and supported Charelize. It was done as carefully as possible to prevent her from falling.

 

The smell of the damp, confined basement brushed the tip of her nose. “It’s even worse than the attic I saw earlier… Should I thank His Grace for keeping me as a princess instead of imprisoning me here?”

 

Charelize, who involuntarily frowned, felt unpleasant. It was a harsh place for a boy who was growing up to live there.

 

“Now… where is he? No, is he still alive?”

 

“The private library was closed when the young Master was 9 years old.”

 

“That’s right.”

 

“A few years later, the young Master went to study in the Peschte Empire, so I haven’t seen him once since then.”

 

“…”

 

They became silent after that. Walking aimlessly without talking, which was awkward. However, they soon arrived at the place that would break the awkward atmosphere.

 

“Is this the place?”

 

“That’s right.”

 

It was indeed a poorly constructed, wooden door. It seemed to be worse than the attic she had seen before. The door opened and Charelize couldn’t contain her astonishment.

 

“Now that the child abuse law has been revised… if the predecessor duke is still alive, he would be imprisoned and interrogated right away in Helsen Prison.”

 

Just like the door, there was a bed made of wood, and only an old worn blanket on it.

 

“It seems that… the only thing that can be called an object is the bed.”

 

“I will look for it.”

 

The butler looked around and pulled out a dusty little box under the bed. After removing all the dirty things, they found things decorated with precious-looking jewels.

 

“Now… I understand… why he searched for something so badly.”

 

“Isn’t it a small box? Is there anything inside?”

 

“It is… the first gift the predecessor duchess gave to Sir Raya.”

 

The butler found the handle part and turned it several times. As the box opened, a familiar sound came out from somewhere.

 

“Isn’t this… a music box?”

 

Charelize immediately recognized the identity of the music.

 

“When the sun closes its eyes and the moon wakes up, the stars come out first and smile.”

 

“Until I sleep… keep… singing…”

 

“I thought you were already asleep.”

 

“No… I’m not sleeping.”

 

“Princess.”

 

“Don’t go…”

 

“The moon and stars are watching over the princess’s night.”

 

“Where are you… going… No…”

 

“…My baby, it’s time to sleep.”

 

 

It was a lullaby that Lona always sang to put her to sleep.

 

This place contains nothing but terrible memories, and it was a place that would make you sick of just looking at it. Still, she could understand why he was trying so hard to come back here. Time could never turn back. She could feel his heart, which he didn’t want to forget even those bad memories.

 

“Sir Raya has never called the predecessor duke and duchess as normal as others.”

 

“…”

 

“The predecessor duke got angry when he called him father, and the predecessor duchess who gave birth to twins and caused such pain, felt very sorry when she heard that child call her as mother…”

 

“…”

 

“So… he called them with titles, which he learned from the books.”

 

“…”

 

Charelize recalled the contents of the diary. It was as if he copied the words he learned from the dictionary. It mentioned that he would give spring to his mother. The word ‘mother’ was awkward enough. Without knowing what spring was, it seemed he promised to give it to his mother so he would be loved.

 

“On behalf of Sir Raya… I ask for forgiveness from the young Master. He never meant anything bad. It’s just… the predecessor duchess…”

 

Seeing Charelize’s increasingly hardened expression, the butler knelt down. He shed tears and begged for forgiveness for what Sir Raya had done.

 

“…I don’t understand what you are saying. Butler knows me well, right? His Grace turned away from me, and my mother…”

 

“…”

 

“I can fully understand… So don’t worry.”

 

Charelize, who stopped talking about her mother, bent over and raised the butler.

 

“Master… doesn’t even know this room exists.”

 

“…Why?”

 

“When the predecessor duke was away from the mansion, they used to play together, but… Sir Raya’s thoughts gradually grew and he had been living here ever since he expressed doubts about his confinement…”

 

“…”

 

“On the days when the predecessor duke was drinking, he always went to Sir Raya and slapped him… as a result, he couldn’t fall asleep easily.”

 

“Therefore… Did she give him this music box as a gift?”

 

“It seems so.”

 

A life where you don’t know when you’ll die, and you can’t even sleep comfortably. Charelize knew that pain more than anyone else.

 

It started when the sound of her parents fighting because of her rang in her ears. After that, it was the moment when she clearly felt the absence of people leaving her side one by one. At the same time, the pressure of being a little duchess and keeping her position made her tired all the time. Occasionally, the day she closed her eyes as if she would collapse, she had terrible nightmares. Even so, she didn’t know when a dagger would pierce her throat, so she always woke up at the slightest sound.

 

Duke Marsetta wouldn’t know how long she had been suffering from this pain. How old was she when she first received the threat of assassination? He didn’t even try to find out in the first place.

 

Sir Raya, her uncle, whom she had never met, must have gone through a lot. He must be thinking of the fact that he was born and every breath he took was a sin.

 

“Is it… really because of that one dream?”

 

“…There is something my father said before when he was alive.”

 

“The old butler?”

 

“He said that the predecessor duke was also abused since childhood.”

 

“Abused?”

 

“He was born as an illegitimate child…”

 

“If that’s the case…”

 

“…”

 

“He must have known about that pain even more. At least he shouldn’t have done that to his child.”

 

Charelize didn’t contain her anger. She didn’t know if it was because she sympathized with those who must have suffered all their lives, or if she assimilated with those feelings.

 

“This music box… I’ll keep it.”

 

“Do as you please, young Master.”

 

It was painful to be here any longer, so she hurried out. The butler, who followed her, closed the valve and pulled out the books as he did earlier. When he put them in their original places in order, something happened. The place came back to normal in an instant.

 

“Except the butler and me, no one should know this place.”

 

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

 

Charelize ordered the butler to keep it secret. Then, she returned to her office and continued to turn the handle of the music box. As she did, she noticed that on the bottom part, a star was drawn.

 

In Risepran, ‘Raya’ had the meaning of a star in the night sky. Charelize recalled the vivid dialogue between the mother and son as if she saw the scene. It would have been better if she didn’t know anything until the end.

 

“My older brother’s name is Radin, but why am I the only one called baby when we’re twins? I want to have a name.”

 

“…Raya.”

 

“Raya?”

 

“It means the stars in the night sky.”

 

“It’s so pretty. Thank you.”

 

“When everyone is asleep, when no one is watching… You are shining just like the star in the night sky.”

 

“…”

 

“That’s how you can live. Even if it’s a star nobody knows about, just being alive. That’s all you have to do.”

 

“The reason my father doesn’t kill me is not that he considers me his son…”

 

“Baby.”

 

“It’s because he’s afraid he will be cursed. But, I already knew it was a lie Mother made up to save me.”

 

What she saw that day was terrible. The headache, which hadn’t come back in a while, once again disturbed Charelize’s rest.